You Are My Sunshine

Chapter 41 - Hitting Below the Belt

"They held each other and kissed and pushed each others' darkness into the corner, believing in each others' light, each others' dream." - Hubert Selby Jr.

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It was nearing nightfall when Opie arrived at Mae's. He knocked, despite having a key, and she opened the door in tiny linen shorts and a tank top.

"How was the ride?" She asked as he awkwardly kissed her cheek.

He shrugged, shuffling his feet, "Dusty."

Mae smiled at that. "So?"

"Look, I don't wanna fight," he said flatly.

"Me neither."

"Okay, good." Combing his hair back from his eyes, Opie sighed. "Why do you want to know everything?"

"Are you serious?" Confusion twisted her face as she stared at him. "It's your life, your family, Ope. I want yo know because I know it's important to you, because I love you and I want to be a part of your life."

It was a complete answer, he had no questions about it, so Opie scrambled to think up what else to say. He knew what Amelia said was probably true but he wasn't ready to give up on his ideal.

"I don't want you as a part of that," he explained. "I just want to keep you separate, away from that, keep you to myself."

Hanging her head, Mae tried to keep from crying as she spoke. "That's not how it works. I'm not some toy you get to keep locked away. I want to be an active part of your life, of your family."

"No one gets it," he scoffed. "You're too good for that shit."

"No, you don't get it. I'm not yours to do whatever you want with and I'm not too good for anything that's in your life. I want to be involved. I care, Ope."

"I know you do, but you shouldn't. It's not important."

"Is this why you didn't tell Donna?" Mae knew it would rattle him and prompt some truth to spill out of anger.

"Don't bring her up." He spat. "Donna didn't want to know, no matter how much she said she did, and she didn't accept it that's why I didn't tell her."

Mae rolled her eyes. "I accept it. I want to know. You left Donna because she didn't, so what, you missing that? You miss having to hide shit and be judged?"

"I don't miss Donna," he growled.

"The why isn't even the point," Mae laughed sadly. "the point is you promised me you'd tell me, everything, but I see it was edited. Everything wasn't really everything."

"I didn't want to spook you." He made up the flimsy excuse on the sly.

"I'm not going anywhere!" She hollered. "I'm not going to run off scared, I'm here, just as long as you let me."

Opie grumbled something to himself and Mae shook her head. "I'm not telling you to leave."

"No, but by not involving me you're pushing me away." Something dawned on Mae and she was terrified that it was the real truth he refused to admit. "You don't really want this, do you?"

"What do you mean?"

Mae's eyes filled and betrayed her as a fat, makeup stained tear tumbled down her cheek. "You wanted the sex and the secret and the novelty. You never wanted a life with me, did you?"

"I did," he saw her face fall even further. "I do, I still do."

"I don't believe that." She admitted sadly. "I wanted to test the waters, see how things went at the party because I was truly thinking about moving, thank god I didn't jump in blind."