Sophie
Walang humpay ang pag-iyak ko habang yakap ang sariling unan. Gusto kong ibuhos lahat ng luha ko at nang tuluyan na tong maubos.Gavin, bakit mo ba ako pinahirapan ng ganito? I didn't do anything that would hurt you. I love you and I hope you'd realize that.
Pagpasok ko ng sarili kong kwarto kanina tinawagan ko kaagad siya pero nakapatay pa rin yung phone niya. Ilang beses ko ring dinial yung number niya ganun pa din. I don't think I could handle this kind of situation. I missed him so much.
Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin siya makontak. Is he avoiding me? But why? Bakit hindi niya ako kayang pakinggan?
Ilang beses na ba akong umiiyak sa ibabaw ng kamang ito? It was countless. But Gavin's worth crying for.
Perhaps, the only thing could save our special relationship is to tell him how much he meant for me. Oh Dear Maker, please tell me what to do. Ayokong masira kung anuman ang meron kami ni Gavin ngayon. I can't and I won't let that happen. I'm not giving up on him.
Alam kong nasaktan ko siya at kahit yung ego niya ay maaaring natapakan ko rin. Babawi ako. Gagawin ko ang lahat na ipakita sa kanya na siya lang ang lalaking nanaisin kong makasama sa lahat ng oras.
It was already past midnight. My mind still awake. I couldn't sleep thinking about him. Ang dami kong gustong gawin para maayos ko ang gusot na to pero hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsimula. He didn't even want to listen my explanation.
Ang bigat sa pakiramdam. Ang gusto ko lang gawin ngayon ay ang umiyak hangga't tuluyan akong manghina, hilain ng antok at bukas pagkagising ko nasa harapan ko na si Gavin. I know it sounds impossible but love is crazy. You laugh, cry, dream, hope, give up, do some foolish things, believe and even die. But being in love is wonderful and perfect, isn't it? And this kind of feeling is worth fighting for.
Lumipas na naman ang ilang oras, hindi pa rin ako dinalaw ng antok. Pagod nga ang puso't isipan ko but I couldn't shut my body down.
Hinila ko yung kumot ko to cover my body. I just wanted to comfort myself.
For the last time tonight, I'm gonna call him. Kinapa ko yung phone ko sa ibabaw ng sidetable. At nang mahawakan ko na to, huminga muna ako ng malalim bago dinial ulit yung number ni Gavin. Habang pinindot ko yung numero niya lumakas naman ang pintig ng puso ko. Inilagay ko yung phone ko sa tenga, nagbabakasakaling marinig ko na yung boses nito. Even just a simple hello.
Then, I heard it. I could perfectly hear it. His phone was ringing. Nabuhayan ako ng loob. Dali-dali akong bumangon at umupo. Pinahiran ko na rin yung mga luha ko.
C'mon Gavin, pick it up... Please...
Hindi ako sumuko. Paulit-ulit kong dinial yung number niya hanggang sa maiinis siya at tuluyang sagutin yung tawag ko. I guess, my plan worked. He finally answered it.
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The Exchange Deal (TBS: Book 1)
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