TRY HARD//C.H

13

+

Calum's POV

It had a been a whole week since what happened between May and I, every time I thought about it I felt more and more like a fool. I don't know what came over me, I guess I was so caught up in the moment that....no I can't give myself an excuse of what I did, I scared her, and I ruined any possible chance I had with her. She had been avoiding eye contact with me and stopped hanging out with me, each time we were left in the same room alone she'd leave and it saddened me, she wouldn't even talk me.

+

"You did WHAT??" Ashton smacked me upside the head harshly.

"I know, I know, I fucked up, Bad!" I sighed as I slumped into the beanbag. We had gathered in Luke's room so that the boys could find out what happened between May and I earlier that night.

"Dude isn't that rap-" Michael started but I cut him off.

"Please don't say it, anything but that, I don't want to think that I could ever do something like that to her" I pleaded.

"Wow, just wow" Ashton scoffed, looking at me with disappointment.

"How about Lucy?" I tried changing the conversation.

"I'd never force her to do anything she didn't want to do, I mean we have, you know, but I never forced her to" Luke shrugged.

"Wait you two did IT, and you waited a whole week to tell us" Michael asked in disbelief.

"Wait isn't that like...wrong?" Ashton scrunched his brows.

"She turned 17 earlier this month okay?" Luke held his hands up in defense.

"Yeah but still" Ashton shook his head
"Shut up Ash" Luke laughed as he threw a pillow at Ashton. Which turned into all round war, pillows flying here and there and it soon turned into them wrestling it up.

While they were busy doing that I had to figure a way to fix what I did.

+

I stared down intently at my cup of coffee on the kitchen counter, I hadn't bother to change out of my sleep wear and my hair was still a mess. Lucy sat next to me, she was on the phone and also had a book out in front of her, a planner of some sort. She was also whispering instructions to the other two girls in front of her.

"Order the cake, make sure it's chocolate and vanilla ice cream cake Genie" Lucy said to the red headed girl who nodded in front of her, before returning back to her phone call "yeah we'll need streamers sir".

"What about me?" Ariel pouted as she leaned on the countertop, her huge sweatshirt making her look tiny.

"You're in charge of drinks, no alcohol okay?" Lucy sighed.

"What's going on here?" I finally decided to ask, my curiosity was getting the better of me.

"Well it's May's birthday in two days time and even if I know she doesn't want to celebrate it, I still want to throw her a surprise party, help her know that it's okay" Lucy sighed, an expression I couldn't quite pin washed over her face.

"What happened?" I turned to face her

"Well she had a terrible experience on 16th birthday, it was uh, it was a crazy party, people were drinking, there was this guy she was chatting with, he seemed older than her, like 18 years old, it seemed harmless, they were just talking" she shrugged "but he was drunk, I should have looked out for her, I really should have, I turned around one second and they were gone, I didn't think much of it, then I started to get worried soon later and went upstairs" she placed her hand over her mouth.

"Let's just say, May didn't lose her virginity voluntarily" Ariel sighed, they all looked somber as they remembered what happened.

"Wait, you're saying that May got...raped?" I struggled to ask, my breaths were coming out short.

"Why would you tell him that?" May asked from the doorway that led into the kitchen, she scoffed then walked out with her arms crossed, no one had heard her come in and if I had been a second too late looking up I would have missed the tears that slipped down her cheeks.

"May" Lucy started but I held her down with my hand.

"I'll talk to her, I messed up and I need to fix it, I crossed a boundary between the both of us that I shouldn't have and I regret" I said as I got up and ran after her.

+

May's POV

I sniffled as I walked down the hallway that led to my bedroom. Why would tell him that? That was humiliating, that time period and right now, now he knows and I don't know what to do. I wiped the tears on my face with the sleeves of my shirt.

"May" I heard someone call behind me but I didn't bother to turn around, I could hear the footsteps get quicker, the person running to keep up.

"May" he said again as he caught up to me, gently holding my hand to stop me.

"Leave me alone" I pulled my hand away from his and kept on walking.

"May!" He tried again, this time turning me to face him.

"Fine! What is it?" I said, my eyes glued to the ground, not wanting him to see me cry.

"I am so sorry, please forgive me" he sighed then let go of my hand "I didn't know, that's not an excuse I know, I'm sorry, May I really am" if I didn't know any better I'd think that he was about to cry, wait is he?

"Calum, look it's fine" I sniffled "come here" I led him to the Den where the boys hung out most of the time. I couldn't bring myself to taking him to my room.

"What happened last year" I sighed as we settled on the couches in the Den, I sat on the one way across from where he sat. "It was horrific to me, the only people who knows about it are Lucy, Ariel, Genie, our parents and also the person who caused it" I looked at anywhere except for his face incase he judged me.

"It was my 16th birthday, his name was Josh, he was one of the coolest seniors at our high school, any girl would do anything to be the one he gave his attention to, and I was so happy when he spoke to me, me a sophomore" I scoffed and shook my head. "He was drunk out of his mind but I didn't care, he was speaking to me, and besides it seemed harmless, we were talking then he told me that he wanted to show me something and we went upstairs to a bedroom, I was a naive person, I had no idea" I bit my lip for a moment, biting back tears.

"Look May if you don't want to tell me it's fine" Calum leaned forward in his chair, as though he was ready to hold me incase I broke down in tears.

"It's fine" I exhaled "I asked him what he wanted to show me, he laughed and pulled me close to him, then he led to the bed, he kissed me, I didn't know what to do, it was my...it was my first kiss so I didn't know what to do. He kept kissing me and then had me on the bed, I couldn't exactly get up and leave if I wanted to, the way he had me placed, he kept kissing me and then it became rough, I was scared and I wanted to leave, but I couldn't " I choked.

"He grabbed my thigh with one had and popped open my blouse with the other, I tried screaming for help but I was at a party, no one could hear my screams. He simply said 'you're 16 now sweetheart, it's the time where most people lose that thing called a virginity' I cried the whole time, I hated it! He just laughed and went about his business" I shrugged, then leaned back into the couch.

"When he was done he didn't care about what he's done, he just got dressed and said to not tell anyone 'besides who'd believe you, who'd believe that I slept with YOU' those words were burned in my memory. Who'd believe that he slept with me? Lucy found me crying in the room, I was under the covers, my clothes were torn. THAT BLOODY BASTARD!" I growled.

"I told my parents and they called the police but he got away with it, he raped me and got away with it" I sighed "the band was my escape from there, my parents were support of it, anything to get my mind off of what happened" I slumped my shoulders and finally decided to look at him. He was crying it seemed, he ran his hand through his hair, a habit I'd grown accustomed to, and sighed.

"May, I'm so sorry, oh my gosh what have I done?" He grit his teeth which caused his jawline to protrude.

"It's okay Calum, it's not like I didn't want to, you know, with you, I really did but I panicked, I got scared, I don't know if I'll ever be able to have sex with anyone" I shook my head as another round of tears slipped down my cheeks.

"He ruined your first time for you but that doesn't mean it's all bad" he rubbed his face with his right hand.

"I know, but I'll have to slowly get there Calum, you're the only I've kissed ever since that incident, I liked it, it felt natural" I chuckled.

"I can help you, you know, get comfortable with the whole idea of sex" he looked down at his feet. His words shocked me, how can he help me?

"Oh, I don't want to be a bother to you, it'll take a lot of patience and I mean ALOT of patience to get me to be comfortable with it" I shook my head.

"And I have that, look May I'll do anything to reverse what that asshat did to you, we'll take it slow and steady, day by day, I'm not going to rush into anything I swear" he crossed his heart, he ACTUALLY crossed his heart, I laughed at his gesture and slowly nodded.

"Okay, you can help me I guess" I tilted my head backwards and sighed. He got up from where he was sitting and sat next to me, pulling me into a hug.

"I'll keep apologizing as long as I live" he whispered into my hair.

"Alright, so when do we start?" I pulled away from him so as to look at him.

"Later tonight" he smirked then got up and walked out. What did I just agree to?

A/N: hello, so yeah, she was touched in an unholy way when she was 16, that's why she's so kept to herself and all. Sad really!

And yeah, Calum's going to help get comfortable with frick fracking, wow!

Thanks for reading and I hope you'll keep reading, I'll update as soon as I can, vote of you liked it, it'll mean a lot to me.~M