My hair, a salty, beachy mess, is pulled up into a messy bun. After having rented a surfboard from an ocean-side shop, I took to the ocean to clear my mind as I used to. With every carve of the water and natural movement, I tried to distract myself from my racing heart and pulsing veins.
Walking back to the apartment, I take some more time to think, enjoying every last moment of silence I can get. I know that soon, I won't be at liberty to think in silence. I have to tell Hannah, I know I do. She's one of the only people that can help me with this. Without her, I wouldn't be here. She needs to know. She'll help me. Hannah always helps me.
The door to the apartment swings open before I can touch the knob myself, to reveal Hannah, a worried expression sprawled onto her face. Standing behinds her, hardly concealed by her small stature, is Benn. "You called Benn?" I ask, sitting at the counter as he steps into the bathroom for a moment.
"I was worried... And, well, if anyone was going to know what was going on beside me, it would be Benn." Sighing, I put my elbows on the counter and take my bun out, feeding my hand through the tangled waves. "Kat, you have to tell me what's going on. I can't help you if I don't know."
"It was last night," I admit quietly.
"Last night? What was last night?" She asks nervously, trying to subtly look at Benn, who has come back into the room.
"Kit, did something happen at Rob's?" Benn asks, coming over and looking over my face worriedly.
"I, uh, I..." I state nervously, looking to the counter in shame. "I had a little bit too much to drink."
"Did you... Did you sleep with someone?" Benn asks, his voice cracking a little. My eyes widen in shock and I sit up abruptly, grabbing at his hand. He doesn't look at me, and retracts from my grip in the slightest.
"No. Benn. I promise I didn't. I would never. I could never." After my spastic outburst, I feel him tighten his grip on my hand.
"Then what-"
"I..." My eyes brimmed with tears. "I couldn't control myself." Hannah gasped on the other side of the counter, and I dropped my grip on Benn, down casting my eyes to my feet. "I wasn't thinking, and I saw some people taking lines in the back. I was there, and I didn't stop myself. And now it's all I can think about. I feel like I'm disintegrating and I'm fucked up really bad. It's all my fault," I ramble, feeling all of my thoughts and feelings from the last twelve hours surface.
"Hey," Benn states in a soft yet firm voice, placing one hand on my hip. His right hand lifted my tear stained face, wiping away the damp lines that glisten down my cheeks. "I promise you that you're going to get through this."
"I'm so sor-"
"You have no reason to be sorry," He cuts off, bringing me close. "This will all be okay. You're going to get through this, and I'll be with you for every moment of it."
"How have I not scared you away yet?" I ask, laughing bitterly through my sniffles.
"You'd have to do a lot more then be yourself to scare me. You're the most amazing person I've ever met. And everything that's ever happened to you just makes me love you more."
"What would I ever do without you?" I ask, looking up through my eyelashes at him.
"Let's hope you never have to find out."
YOU ARE READING
Chasing Rainbows
Teen FictionLarkin Katherine Walker has lived a long, tragic life. At the age of twenty, the past five years have slipped by without her living them at all. So what is she going to do about it? After all, going after happiness is like chasing a fucking rainbow...
