How Does It Go?..

You Might Understand..

This has kind of been a mild problem for a long time until the past couple years, where its gotten worse. I don't believe that my friends are really my friends. I might be able to believe they are partly my friend, but I never completely believe that they care or that they think of me the same way I think of them.

I don't know what it is,I just can't seem to fully believe that people are my friends. Maybe it's just because I'm scared of the future and I'm scared of the day they'll do something to me. I just know that they won't always be there so I'm kind of thinking and preparing.. I don't know..

I care about them a lot, it feels like I always will. Though some friends have hurt me in some way and I feel less like they care about me. Other friends have done nothing to me and sometimes I just feel happy seeing them because I know that they haven't hurt me and it feels nice to be with someone who I feel might care about me more. Even though I still don't believe they really care much either. Don't get me wrong I know all of them care a little, but.. Idk.. I just can't believe it..

I think, on the inside, I've just tried to prepare for the worst, and I've done that for a lot of my life..

-Arasnnie