How Does It Go?..

I.. Cant Give Up

Is it even possible to write a happy chapter anymore?

The things that have made me happy are all my friends and family, because they matter most to me

But all my friends, literally feels like all of them, feel too shit to live.. And that's what makes me feel more shit.. Because I can't help them.. Because they don't want me to help them..

When you get messages from one of your best friends telling you not to try and help them.. It hurts because all you want is for them to be helped and to feel better..

I don't know what to do.. I wanna be happier for them.. Be one of the only happy voices they have.. But its so hard to be happy when they aren't even happy in the slightest bit..

I miss when we used to skype call every night and laugh.. Play never have I ever, cards against humanity and truth or dare... Just have a good time.. And yea there was shit in our life, some we could change and some we couldn't.. But we were always a little happy with each other..

I don't know why everything has gotten so depressing.. Its bad and its so sad..

Why do innocent people deserve to be so unhappy?..

I'd rather use up all my time to help them be happy then have myself be happy..

My mum has said to me a couple times now.. To be careful helping sad people.. Because you can get hurt along the way too..

I don't think she knows how hurt I am, at all.. But all I know is that the people who I'm trying to help... Have helped me... and that's why I can't restrict how much I help them.. I would do anything for them and I care about them more than anything..

I'll never stop

Because they've always been here for me..

-Arasnnie