How Does It Go?..

I'm More Complicated..

Hey..

So I'm not feeling great and to take my mind off it I thought I'd write a chapter.. Woah..

So I'm gonna talk about how.. Most people supposedly 'hate themselves'.. And a main reason you kind of hear is because of their body.. They're just unhapy with the way they look..

They think they're fat and ugly for a lot of different reasons.. Even though half the people who say they're fat, really aren't.. Or maybe they honestly have a little bit of fat but they blow it out of proportion completely..

(Also the fact that you weigh a couple kilos (pounds whatever it is) over what you should have doesn't mean you are necessarily fat..)

Anyway the point is that.. People who say they hate themselves, when you ask why, half the time its because they don't like their body..

I don't understand how some people hate themselves for their bodies..

I think hate.. Is a strong word..

And I hate myself too..

I really really do..

But the difference is.. I can't change the reasons I hate myself..

Because I hate myself.. For the things that I've done to people..

I will never forgive myself for the things I've done and I can never change them..

The fact that I've hurt people I care about.. It hurts me more so much.. I can't forgive myself after I've done one thing wrong..

Hating yourself isn't nice.. And I wish I could change it..

I wish I'd never done those things.. I wish I'd never done the things I'm gonna do in the future.. Even though most would be accidental I will never stop feeling shit About myself for what I did..

Don't get me wrong.. I really don't like my body either..

But honestly.. Hurting the people that matter to me.. Is much more of a burden.. Than the fat that sits on my body..

-Arasnnie