How Does It Go?..

Another One

Another talk with my family..

That's like 3 nights in a row or some shit...

I cried so much last night.. The tear stain about as big as My hand

Maybe I can beat it this time.. But idk probably not

Cause last night was the biggest cry id had in ages and I didn't try and stop myself..

I'll let myself cry tonight for as long as I need too

I hate crying

Why can't it all just go away?

He'll be leaving soon..

Just like she did..

It feels like it anyway..

That he'll be gone from my life so soon and I'll just die inside..

I didn't have prep for this one..

I feel so broken

And its not even because he doesn't love me..

He apparently doesn't want to leave me..

But feels as though he is being forced..

And I think I'm just gonna.. I don't even know

You should have seen me last night..

When I heard that thing.. I bursted into even more tears and basically broke down..

I said I didn't even care anymore..

I felt so broken

And I feel so broken again..

I don't want to die

Ever..

I just want all this pain to stop..

WHY CAN'T I MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS??!!

Why does it have to be such a big deal?..

Why can't I do this?...

I'm not strong enough..

-Arasnnie