How Does It Go?..

Some Thoughts

I wrote this the other day, I'm sorry if it makes no sense:

Ever know that feeling; where you're cold as hell, and you wanna feel warmer, but at the same time you just wanna take off your jumper and sit in the rain until u freeze?.. Until you actually get affected physically?..

When did that turn into a metaphor for some situations with depressed people..

You're cold- hurt. it feels like you're gradually getting colder (it just keeps hurting)
Jumper- warmth. friends, family, things that make you happy
So eventually, after becoming sick of trying but still feeling so cold.. You feel like you won't be able to get warm.. (Sick of getting so hurt you don't think it will ever get better..)

Instead of continuing to try.. you give up.. because its too cold and it's too hard to warm up.. (You give up with trying because it hurts so much that u can't take it..)

So you take off your jumper.. And you go sit in the rain.. To finally let yourself freeze.. (You isolate yourself, stop trying to feel any happiness or connect with the people around you.. So you don't feel bad.. )

You wait for the rain to drop your body temperature rapidly and get your body to the point of freezing.. (slowly you wait for everything to get so much that your body and mind gives up)

After all this mental/ slight physical harm from the cold.. (After all the stress and harm just to feel something other than all your problems..)

You're finally warmer and then you're finally dead.. (Youre finally feel better.. And then youve finally fixed your problem.. Guess how..)

The end
What a happy ending..

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Also the other night at like 11:30 I talked to myself solid for about 20 minutes to do with the way depression can work within yourself

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You know that wonderful feeling when you're covered in a blanket and like your face is partly covered? So its complicatedly dark and warm in ur little space of loveliness..

In a little cocoon, feeling isolated but not

Just crampt and warm and ah..

Or like when you're on your bed or couch just pillows and blankets surrounding you

Ultimate comfort and warmth..

Isolation from the troubling world..

-Arasnnie