How Does It Go?..

12am (100 Chaptersss!!!)

OKAY HOLA KIDS

I'm in a fine mood rn

Soooooo this morning/last night

(*cough cough* like a week ago *cough*)

I wrote some stuff down

Sorry for anything that I'd repeated

I'm not going to edit it or anything cause then it isn't exactly what I wrote last night (at that point in time) xD

I stayed up until midnight so I could say out loud the first part that I write.. And I did.. Then I wrote it down..

Also I'm sorry because as I said it was midnight and I wasn't in a very happy head space xx so no need to worry..

So yea.. here ya gooo

Ily x

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Exactly a week ago..

To this day...

You stopped being mine..

Why does it seem so easy to not sleep?...

Why does not existing feel like a fine idea rn?...

Why is every minute going so fast?...

Why did it have to end?..

Why am I still awake?...

Why do I ever sleep?...

WHY DO YOU KEEP BOTHERING ME UGH?! IF I GO TO SLEEP OR NOT JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I AM WELL AWARE IT IS MIDNIGHT! WHY DONT YOU GO TO SLEEP! YOU ALREADY TOOK MY PHONE, ISNT THIS PROOF THAT I DONT JUST NEED MY PHONE TO STAY AWAKE? you already took my happiness... Can't you let me have my thoughts at 12am?... Sorry about the capitols

I swear if you tell me to go to sleep again... I'm staying up for another hour.. I'll fucking get there in my own time all right?

I'm sorry.. I love you more than anything... I'm sorry I'm such a pain.. I'm sorry I don't talk to you.. But I'm not because its no bodies fault except your own..

You tried talking to me about that today.. I talked to you.. I tried to smile.. But its hard okay?.. I almost wish I was with mum because then I'd get to see My brothers.. But then I don't wish for that because 1. They remind me of him, for reasons no one understands.. 2. I liked being at home.. 3. I think I had more fun last night (now two nights ago when I think about it) than I have in a while.. I almost forgot about everything for a while.. It was so nice.. I wish I could have that every day.. But then I dont, because if I did it wouldn't be special anymore..

I may be 14 and have issues with my parents rn.. But I can still miss the presence of my mother..

I'm envious of her being able to spend time with the family that I miss most..

School back today.. Yay.. I don't even know if its yay anymore.. For at least the past week it was but now I really don't know.. But I don't like home either so much, so yea I guess school is the place I want to be.. 2 months ago is where I want to be.. But then I don't.. Cause I know it won't end well..

Two nights ago is where I want to be.. That's my true happy place..

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Also yay for 100 chapters! And over 1.1k reads😊

I'm in a really crisissy mood

I'm sorry mum and dad I love u more than anything

I will always love u..

I'm sorry for thinking and writing that stuff.. While I'm actually thinking about the future I'm just so sorry because you're the most important people to me..

Thanks guys

See u in the next oneee

Byeee x

-Arasnnie