We're so far away from you

Because I knew I never stood a chance

I walked out of that bus and put on my shades it was a nice day out.

A great day to end this whirlwind of a festival and tonight I will be back on a plane to New York with my twins and Matt.

I have to say all of this didn't turn out the way I wanted to but all in all I am glad things went the way they went because I have Gerard back in my life again and Luke and Lee have their dad.

So after everything that has happened I am happy.

"Allison!"

"huh? Matt?"

"oh hey Will wanted me to find you he wanted to go over the setlist and about something else."

"Okay where is he?"

"He by that big tree in the grassy area."

"Thanks could you go and make sure the twins are okay? they are with Gee and make sure he fed them please."

"No problem."

"Thanks!"

I changed direction from where I was going and went to the little grassy area where I saw a twig of a figure sitting underneath the tree.

"Hey Beckett what's up?"

"oh I just wanted to ask if you wanted to sing a song tonight, for the last show and everything?"

"Oh yeah I would love to."

"Okey dokey well that solves that problem there."

"Matt said there was something else you wanted to discuss?"

"Umm yeah I did but I just...I dont think I should tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because.."

"Because?"

"because it might change everything."

"Nothing can change anything between us. You have seen me through everything you have been my rock. So whats going on?"

"It was about singing to you yesterday.."

"Yeah?"

"I a-um I..shit. why cant I say this? I-uh..I...I-I-I fuck!"

he was fidgeting and stuttering.

he never acted like this.

he was always calm and collected and everything just flowed when he spoke to me.

Gerard was always the only to stutter when he spoke to me about something serious...wait a minute....no. he couldn't I mean he is my best friend. he couldn't possibly....and then I got to really thinking about all the times he was there for me. caring for me, holding me when I was feeling lonely, singing to me when I needed to calm down, helping me and Matt with the twins. My gosh I am such an idiot! I can't believed I missed this..I am stupid.

"Will..I can't believe I didn't see it.."

"Yeah...all these years and I love you Isabella."

"So why didn't you ever make a move?"

"Because I knew I never stood a chance."

"How so?"

"Because sweetheart you were already in love and I wasn't about to try and pray myself in there."

"But.."

"No buts. I have no regrets. I would much rather be your rock then get hurt and fucked with. So I just decided that being your best friend was enough, and that when you and Gerard got back together I would smile, suck it up and be happy for you because that's all I really ever wanted. "

"But Will."

"No Bells I am happy for you so shut up and smile."

"I-"

"Bells."

I went to him and hugged him

"You know babe if I wasn't already in love...I would have given you a chance."

"Thanks."

"Welcome."

he pulled myself away from me and collected himself.

"Come on we have to go get ready and I have to go pick a song."

"alright...let me just chill out here for a sec and I will catch up."

I walked away but I knew what he was going to do.

so I got out of his sight of vision and saw what I suspected he sat down and put his hands in between his hands and started to cry.

I feel like shit..

I walked back to the bus and just crashed onto my bunk...I didn't feel like going outside anymore.

"Allison?"

"yeah in my bunk Matthew."

"Whoa whats wrong?"

"Nothing..I just..well Will...I figured out that Will loves me."

"Oh."

"Wait you knew?"

"Yeah it was obvious. from the beginning that boy had it for you and he had it bad sis."

"I feel like an idiot and a fucking dick."

"Hey don't blame yourself you have eyes for only one guy. You love Gerard and of course you weren't going to notice Will that way. So don't beat yourself up Will wouldn't want you too."

"I know he just wants me to be happy."

"he does so don't let him come in here and find you all mopey alright?"

"Okay I have to go through my ipod and talk with the band. I am going to sing tonight and I want it to be a good song."

"A belter?"

"Yep and right now lets face it I need a belter."

"Okay I will leave you to it. I have to finish up something with my article anyway."

"alright."

So I sat up and put on my ear phones and went through my ipod.

and 20 minutes later I finally decided on a song.

I think it was my little ode to Will.

But I was going to slow it down tonight