We're so far away from you

5 years, 6 months, 25 days..

It's been 5 years, 6 months, and 26 days since I last saw him.

Since I left him.

Since I have felt love towards another man, in a romantic way.

I have been doing well.

Done well for myself.

And Matt well he is happy as well.

We live in a three bedroom apartment.

But we never seem to see much of it.

We are always on the road with a different band.

I fill in for a member of their band whenever they have a personal issues, illness, injury, or just need a breather.

I don't mind because I love the feeling I get when I am on stage.

I get paid to do something i love.

I do not work a single day of my life.

But I am currently home taking a much needed break.

we just got back from a European tour with one of my favorite bands, Kings of Leon, the Followill brothers are a crazy bunch to tour with, but Jared need a breather. and they called me up and I went and rocked out with them.

they were great to work with.

and looked out for me.

I loved my life but I part of me ached.

A part of me still wishes I was with him.

The only man I have truly loved.

Gerard Arthur Way.

I knew what I was doing and from what I have read he is doing well.

my cell began to ring and sing out the jaws theme song

he always called around this time.

"Hey Mikes."

"Hey Bells where are you this time?"

"I am home...in like what five months."

"Wow so you like out of a suitcase like all the time huh?"

"Totally but I have gotten use to it."

"hahaha... So when will I get to see you again?"

"Don't start this up again Mikes. I can't you know I can't."

"I know but its been years and she hasn't popped up and I need to see you."

"I just can't."

"At least give me your address so I can mail letters."

"Oh no not falling for that no. absolutely no."

"But-"

"No Mikey and that is final."

"Bel-"

the door of my apartment swung open and Matt came in wit a huge smile on his face...and following him ran in Luke and Annabelle... my son and daughter.....my twins.

"mom! mom!"

"Ugh Mikes got to go call you later."

"Hey momma uncle Matt took us to the park and we saw the musicians out there playing and we chased the birds."

"And then we got ice cream!!"

"Oh uncle Matt shouldn't be getting you ice cream you guys are going to be jumping off the walls."

"Nu uh!"

"Not true!"

"Go and play mama is going to start dinner."

"Okay! come on sis!"

"hey wait for me."

yeah there was something i was keeping from Mikey.

I had kids....his niece and nephew...which meant he was an uncle...and which meant...Gerard was a dad.

**

http://www.polyvore.com/years_months_26_days/set?id=16217856