Joshler One Shots

Yesterday (angst)

a/n: based on 'Yesterday' by The Beatles.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

"Come on Tyler!" you laughed, pulling home by the arm. We entered the ice cream shop and you bought me a chocolate vanilla swirled cone. You had chocolate ice cream in a waffle cone. You laughed when you wiped some of my dessert from the corner of my lip. That ice cream could never taste as sweet as your kisses.

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

I try to stop my tears just enough to tell somebody, anybody, that I can't get out of bed, I can't stop replaying the voicemail. Or that I can't stop my shaking hands or my heavy breaths. No matter how hard I try, I just can't stop.

Oh I believe in yesterday

You held my hand the entire drive home, humming along softly to the radio. The warm summer air blew through your pink hair as the roar of the road battled the loud music through the open windows. It was a bit too loud for me but I knew you liked it so I didn't complain. Instead I just smiled because you were too. 

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be

I walk out of my room, clutching my phone to my heaving chest. Mom sees me and stands from her position on the couch. I can't stand to say anything so I play the voicemail. Her hand covers her mouth in awe and she pulls me into her arms. As my tears fall slow, I feel empty, I feel like a hollow shell of who I was when I had you.

There's a shadow hanging over me

The voice from my mind that has been silent for years, begins to creep back. He starts small but grows every second. His voice like venom and his words like knives, he tells me to run.

Oh yesterday, came suddenly

So I do, I run. Fast and far.

As I run, I think about yesterday again. It doesn't make sense. One minute you're kissing my neck, holding me in your arms and the next, you're just gone.

Why he had to go, I don't know. He wouldn't say

I think about your eyes, your hair, your lips, your smile, your laugh, your touch, your hopes and your dreams. You didn't deserve to leave. You deserve so much longer and so much more.

I said something wrong

My legs stop running. I'm in a forest. "I HATE YOU" I scream as loud as possible at the sky.

Now I long for yesterday

I collapse onto the soft grass beneath me and continue crying. I cry for our lost time, and years we'll never spend together. I cry for the shows that we'll never play and the places we'll ever go. I cry for the lives we'll never change and the days you'll never see.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

"I love you" you mumbled against my lips. I tugged on your cotton candy hair and repeated the same words back to you.

Now I need a place to hide away

The voice says for me to hide, so I do. I search for a place from my past. A place I swore I would never return to. A place full of fear, pain and ash.

Oh I believe in yesterday

You walked me to my front door, like always, and we stood for a moment just being with each other. No ice cream, no rough making out. Just looking at each other, looking into each other. It was all real and pure. You gave me one last kiss before waving goodbye and walking back to your car. That damn car.

Why he had to go, I don't know, he didn't say.

"He left you" the voice in my mind growled. "I told you he would leave, so you might as well join him"

I said something wrong

"Okay"

And now I long for yesterday

I begin to climb the branches of the charred tree. Memories of gasoline, a lighter and screaming fill my mind. Memories and that voice are all I have left. Memories of yesterday.

Yesterday love was such an easy game to play

The higher I climb the more I miss you. I miss us. I miss our inside jokes and our stupid nicknames. I wish we had told someone how we really met. I don't want that memory to die.

Now I need a place to hide away

I reach the remains of the destroyed treehouse and stand on its dilapidated roof. I look around me at the trees and feel the silence like a thick film, strangling me. I hear a voice in the nothingness, trying to get my attention.

Oh I believe in yesterday

"Jump" the voice says. I close my eyes and hum something. I hum until I let everything go.

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