Joshler One Shots

Thoughts.

a/n; TW; mentions of self-harm.

I sat alone again today.
The keyword being 'again.'
I still have no friends.
The keyword being 'still'
Therapy tomorrow.

Tyler continued to write in his journal, thinking to himself why exactly his therapist had wanted this. Tyler didn't like talking about his issues, let alone write them. It just made him feel worse, he didn't want people to feel bad for him, or even to pity him just because he was cursed with depression. He's so many others go through the same thing and he knows it isn't fun. He doesn't know if they feel quite the same about the issue though, maybe they liked the attention. Liked knowing at least someone cared, but Tyler, he was different. He didn't feel that way, he knew no one cared and he wanted to he ignored. So that's what he got.

Social interaction was never one of Tyler's strong suits, he couldn't imagine how anyone was actually able to form a sentence and function properly while talking to someone else. He felt they were constantly judging him. If they looked down at his clothes he feared they felt bad because he couldn't afford anything nice, even if they turned their head in a different direction, they're too disgusted to look at you.

Tyler looked down at his legs, his shorts rode up, revealing the faded scars from just an incident two weeks prior. He wondered what they would look like still fresh, Tyler could feel it, the longing to feel pain, to feel the blade grazing his skin, but right now he couldn't do anything about it.

Looking back up, just in time as a leaf landed on the grass in front of him, he stared at it. Not sure why, but then suddenly there was a foot obstructing Tyler's view of the leaf.

Someone had stepped on it. Tyler let his eyes drift upwards to look at the owner of the foot who was standing in front of him. He was not so surprised to see a familiar face looking right back at him.

"You're late." Tyler said.

Without replying, the boy sat down on the grass next to Tyler, taking one of his hands in his own. They sat there in silence until the boy decided to break it.

"How are you, Tyler?" He asked, his voice so soft yet firm. Perfect was the word Tyler was looking, as the words from the other boy processed in Tyler's mind, he realised he couldn't tell the truth. He couldn't tell the boy how badly he was hurting, or how badly the boy was hurting him. All he would try to do is help and Tyler didn't want help, he needed it but he surely didn't want it.

"Please tell me, I want to help you, Tyler." He plead. Tyler knew he cared, he always had, even when he didn't know Tyler all that well.

"It just sucks when you can't make yourself happy, let alone anyone else."

"Tyler, you make me happy. You don't knkw how many times I've thought of you on a bad day, and instantly cheered up. I know you hate to hear me say this but, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. You make me happy just by looking at me. I love you, Tyler, I always will."

Tyler felt a tear drop down his face, quickly wiping it away, he let go of the boys hand and wrapped his arms around his waist instead, bringing his face into the boys neck as they hugged.

"I love you too, Josh."