Unpredictable

chapter 43

Alex's P.O.V

I feel him smiling while we kiss and it makes makes me giggle, my arm goes around his neck, pulling him down to me more. He smiles and I giggle constantly.

"I love you." The words slip out of my mouth before I even know it and I feel the smile that he once had, drop immediately. I didn't even realize I had said it. His lips disconnect from mine, looking down at me as he sits up on his elbow.

"I know we have really strong feelings towards each other, but I don't think I'm ready to say I love you yet. We haven't been dating long enough for me to say that I love you. I didn't mean to hurt you, Alex. Please don't cry, I know you are going to."

He says still sitting up on his elbow and I pulled the sheets over my head, trying to not sniffle, so it won't give away the fact that I am crying over a guy that doesn't even feel the same way about me.

"I gave you my virginity because I thought we were making love together. You know what? I-, um, I'm g-going to go to sleep. It doesn't even matter anymore." I sniffled twice, but I didn't mean to. I let my heavy eyelids slam shut like they were before and Niall gets out of the bed, going over to sit on the couch.

Whenever I wake up, Niall is gone. I put my arms over my face and let my emotions out from last nights embarrassment. He doesn't love me. I don't know why I told him right then, but I couldn't help it.. I do love him, well at least I think I do.

No. I know I do.

I feel worthless knowing my own boyfriend doesn't love me. I let him take away my virginity, we've done so many intimate things together, but that doesn't mean he'll love me. It's just that we've been so attached with each other lately and I am emotionally attached to him.. well was.

Even though we've been dating for two and a half months, it feels longer. The way he is around me, when he's not upset, made me think for sure that he loved me back.

My elbows go up as I still cover my face, that I'm sure is red and puffy now from me crying all night, silently and now. I didn't even hear the door open and close until I feel my bed sink a bit from someone sitting on it. I don't open my eyes because it may be the nurse or Niall. I don't know and I don't want to find out.

"Baby, stop crying." I had a feeling it was Niall. His hands try to pry my arms off of my face, but I shake my head no.

"I'm not," I choke on my cries a little then clear my throat.

"Yes, you are. Is this about last night?"

"No, um, I was just thinking about, um, how my stomach hurts." I lie and continue covering my face.

"Alex, please don't be mad at me for not telling you that I love you back,"

I accidentally let out a small whimper whenever he brings up last night.

He ended up bringing me breakfast this morning, that's why he wasn't here when I woke up.

"Are you going to eat?" He sits on my bed by my feet and I shake my head no.

"I know your stomach doesn't really hurt, Alex. Sit up and eat, here." They numbed my back like they did his a long time ago.

I don't want to sit up because I know my face is a red, puffy, hot mess.

The nurse comes in asks me sit up, so she can check to see how my body is doing.

"Sit up, honey. I have to look at your back." I sit up and avoid eye contact with Niall, but I can tell he's staring at my face.