Heart Broken (Unedited)

Chapter Five

"And against all odds,i choose to please you"

Ahmad

It is the week of the wedding. Preparations have kick started already. The whole family is travelling to Gombe tomorrow which is five days prior to the set nikah date. Hajiya has insisted that i take an annual leave to fully concentrate on the wedding and to enable me to spend quality time with the bride. Even though i gave her countless excuses not to. I took the leave nonetheless with the intention of not partaking in anything related to that wedding. I however managed to convince Hajiya to let me stay behind till a day to the nikah. I can't believe the God forsaken marriage that i so desperately prayed against is less than a week away. I parked at the new house at Barhim Estate, where i am to meet the painters to follow up on their progress. The house was in good condition, as it is new and since its completion, no one has lived in it. But Hajiya insisted i rent out the one at layout which i live in and move to the new one ruining my initial plan of renting the new one for at a good price. According to her, the bride and i should live in a new house free of Sakinah's memories. She says its a start to a fresh life. I on the other hand know her memories will forever haunt me, new house or not.

*
On my way to Gombe, i kept thinking of how my life is about to take an even messier turn. Marrying a girl i have never met or even talked to. Although Hajiya insisted i go to Gombe to see her which i refused. She even went as far as getting her number and saving it on my phone. I've had the number saved on my contact list for more than three months and i've never dialled it. What was it even saved as?...Hamdiyah or Hanifah? I'm not even sure what it was saved as. Funny!...Yeah! How am i to know. Besides, Hajiya called four days ago to inform me that there's been a change of the initial proposed bride to her sister, who according to Hajiya is just as disciplined. It was funny how Hajiya kept apologising on behalf of the girl's family like i cared. They can swap her with the maid for as long as i care. It'll still make no difference. I wish something will come up to stop the nikah from holding tomorrow, i'll be the happiest man then.

Ruqayyah

I have been crying my heart out since Ahmad's family came to see me a few days ago. They brought the lefe (customary bridal gifts from the groom's family) which consisted of eight different sized fully stocked suitcases and a big bag containing designer shoes and bags. The accessories bag even have gold jewelries included. It kept me wondering why they had to bring such things since Baba had bought a set of boxes containing clothes for all three of us. What a waste. What puzzled me even more was that even then, the said groom was not a part of their entourage and was yet to request audience with me. What man from this generation agrees to a marriage with a woman he has never set eyes on? How sure is he that i am what he wants or that i am morally upright?I had a lot of what ifs going on in my head. While my sisters Asma' and Hamidah have been so excited and busy both on the phone with their fiances and with making sure their dream weddings are realised. i kept crying and silently hoping my arranged marriage do not come to reality. And with each passing second, reality dawns on me that the day is drawing near, that it is even just a day away. My sisters have held the kamu event which i refused to be a part of. Infact, i have refused to organize any event or be a part of any celebration nor the endless preparations simply 'cause i do not feel the thrill the other two feel. I had only agreed to go through the excrutiating hours of pain that have been inflicted on every inch of our skins as a result of waxing and scrubbing. The so called dilke (skin grooming) which Mama insisted i do. I however like the sweet lingering smell it left on my skin. And today our limbs are going to be decorated with henna and the hairstylist is also to work on us. The endless flux of guests at almost every hour is not comforting.  My aunties have been telling me non-stop to quit the water works but with each passing second,hot tears roll down my cheeks.

Ahmad

Just like my first nikah eve, it became impossible to sleep. I closed my eyes for like an hour and desperately tried to fall asleep but all in vain. I could not push away that nagging thought that kept eating away at me. I also could not push away the memory of my first marriage. I wasn't able to blink 'cause i was watching the clock impatiently waiting for time to pass. Every hour felt like eternity. I was a jitterbug. Could not wait till morning to make Sakinah mine, that was how i felt. Today, impatiently watching the clock tick, i was silently wishing for time to stop. I stayed up all night making du'as, for only du'a can change a person's destiny.

*
It's a few minutes to tying the knot. I was dressed so impeccably thanks to Abdulazeez. Sitting in the midst of hundreds of attendees, with family, my close friends and the other two grooms, i felt important but not happy. The other grooms could not hide their happiness though and i couldn't blame them being first timers and all. I looked at the two of them and i felt pity for them. If only they knew that their happiness may be short lived, i shook my head. After some minutes the nikah was conducted for all the three pairs according to islamic rites. Here comes hell i muttered. The whole crowd kept congratulating us and i faked smiles and kept thanking them as i returned the hand shakes. Nevertheless, Alhamdulillah for having such number of people travel through distances to celebrate with us. After the reception, i called Hajiya and told her i had a very important issue to attend to so i had to leave immediately. Hajiya was not happy about it but let me off the hook nonetheless. My brothers and best friend will take the bride's entourage to Katsina early the next morning. During my drive back, questions kept popping up. Was leaving fair to her? How would that make her feel? How does she look like? What is she like? Is she happy? In the same state as i am maybe? Is she heartbroken? Probably detests this marriage as much as i do. What man will be this confused on the day that is supposed to be one of the most important and happiest? Why does life has to take this turn? Oh Allah make it easy for me, for both of us.

Ruqayyah

It was Asma's' husband who first called informing that she has just become his. She smiled a contented and happy one and they made small talk before hanging up. Few minutes later, Hamidah's other half sent a congratulatory message also conveying his immense joy for the gift of her. I patiently waited for a message also if not a call but got nothing. He should be happy even though its an arranged marriage yeah, i thought. I occasionally glanced at my screen and eagerly opened each message i get expecting it to be his, but i get disappointed every time. He probably wants to call but does not have my contact and is ashamed of asking. Maybe when the number of guests reduce, he'll seek audience and do that in person. That is even more romantic i thought with a smile. I kept making up excuses for him with every passing second justifying him for delaying contact. My friends kept enquiring about him and i gave different excuses. Some of the guests kept gossiping about God knows what. I noticed they kept looking at me a particular way while whispering nothing and everything. Time passed before Aunty Yusra, his sister in-law came in looking a bit guilty. She sat next to me, asked about my health and congratulated me. She made small talk to lighten my mood and teased me endlessly. She assured me i would be treated as a gem in the family, speaking out of experience. I eventually loosened up and said Alhamdulillah when she kept telling me about her encounter with the Abdulhamid Sani's and it's nothing short of magical. She also told me Ahmad left after the wedding reception to attend to a very important issue but sends his apologies and congrats. That atleast made me feel a bit better. She informed me that i'll however join him the next day and it made me happy knowing i'll finally see the much talked about Ya Ahmad. Finally, i have come to terms with destiny and inSha Allah i'll be the best wife for him. Ya Rabbi bless our union and guide us to jannah.

This chapter is a bit longer than the previous ones. Hope you liked it.
❤❤❤