Heart Broken (Unedited)

Chapter Fifteen

"Her beauty is a myth,her love a legend"

Ruqayyah

Ya Ahmad good morning!

I greeted him and he replied with a beam. I asked him what he would like for breakfast but he politely declined. He was all set for work so he asked if i wanted anything on his way back. I wanted nothing so he just wished me a lovely day and headed out. I feel so guilty 'cause he still hasn't  reacted to my attitude of these days. For the first few weeks, he seemed disturbed but now he just brushes off everything. I doubt i could keep up the act. Of all Aunty Yusra's advices, i particularly don't like this one.

So today for lunch, i made tuwon shinkafa and vegetable soup with freshly squeezed orange juice. On his return, he went straight into his room and stayed inside until maghrib time. When he left for the masjid, i went to clear the table with the intention of cooking a light supper for when he comes back. To my dismay, i found the warmers the way i had kept them at lunch time. I instantly felt deflated. He eats a small portion of my cooking nowadays but never has he left it untouched. Immediately, fear washed over me. Silently, i pray my recent behavior is not pushing my husband to rebound.As i stood by the table, just staring at the warmers and thinking, i gasped as i felt a hand on my shoulder.

Ruqayyah is something wrong? I said the salam three times and called your name but you are so lost in your world that you didn't hear me.

I looked up to his concerned face and told him nothing was wrong, forcing a smile. As realisation dawned on him, he quickly apologised for not eating. Quickly, he pulled out a chair from the table and sat on it saying he would eat just then. I however did not want him to do what he had no intention of, so i insisted that it was fine and he does not necessarily have to eat. He thanked me and broke into a heart melting smile. Then he stood up and left me standing there. I could not believe it. Everything is wrong but he keeps acting cool. The plan was for him to feel disturbed. For him to forrget his ex and concentrate on me. But now am the one who is disturbed. I sighed, cleared the table and then went to pray Isha and just sleep. I was in no mood to watch movies or play games on my phone with my emotions all over the place. And for the first time in months i cried, i cried so hard. I cried 'cause i was hurt and even more 'cause my home doesn't seem to be working out.

Ahmad

I had just gotten off the phone with Baba, Ruqayyah's father and he sends his regard to her. So before i forget to tell her, i headed to her room where i'm certain she would be watching a movie. But when i reached her door, i found it half open and i could  hear her sobs. I quickly pushed it wider and went in.

Slouched on her bed, she very slowly lifted up her head and her eyes met my gaze. My heart constricted in my chest at the sight of her. Her face all drenched in tears and her hair... My Allah her long ebony dark hair. And this is the first time i am seeing her hair. Its so lustrous. Before her hair could distract me any longer, i strode to where she lay and placed a hand on her back. I rubbed circles to pacify her. We stayed like that for a very long time before she finally stopped the tears. I told her to go make wudhu then went into my room and did the same. When i came back to her room, she was still in the bathroom. So i sat down and opened a Qur'an. I had only read a few ayats when she came out of the bathroom in a towel that barely reached her knees. Still unaware of my presence, she walked to her wadrobe at the far end of the room. My eyes were glued on her. Her long legs, the way she sways as she walks, her hair. And i have an affinity to beautiful hair. I never knew hers is long, stopping just beneath her scapula. And now all soaked and dripping water droplets over her back, i felt compelled to run my fingers through it. My heartbeat sped and my breathing was becoming erratic, i kept chanting Auzubillahi. I rose from where i was sitting and closed the Qur'an then returned it to whee i took it.

At that very moment, she turned. We held each other's gaze for a moment. She spotted panic ridden face. And she gasped. Then she froze in the spot. I approached her ever so slowly and took the small towel she was clutching for dear life from her hold. I held the ends of her hair and wrapped her head with the towel. I lowered my mouth to her ears and whispered in them making her stiffen.

My crying wife wants to get a cold too. Get dressed and pray nafil. And please cry no more. Sleep tight.

I smirked and left the room.

*
Back in the confines of my room, it became hard to even blink. Sleep deserted me. All i could think of is Ruqayyah. My heart is a jumbled mess. I couldn't get her image out of my head. I tossed and turned for hours thinking of just one person. How could she affect me so? How is it that in just a year, i have totally forgotten about Sakinah? My heart no longer aches for my Sakinah. Why do i constantly yearn for Ruqayyah? Why have i lost the ability to stay mad at her? All these questions that lack answers. It's become so hard to think of anything that's not related to her nor think of anyone that is not her. Whenever i am out of the house, i feel a strong urge to go back just to see her face, her presence is so comforting. The few times i have travelled on official trips, i have had strong longings to come back to her that i do not waste an hour longer whenever my job is done. The two times she visited Gombe both for two weeks had me missing her like i've never missed anyone before. I remember desperately wanting her to come back home. Whenever i get mad at someone or something, whenever i'm upset, i think of her and i smile. I find solace in the simple fact that Ruqayyah is my wife. Even though we do not have the best of relationships and our marital life is so awkward, i love every second of it. I thank Allah everyday for bringing her into my life. I stayed up all night thinking about her until i heard the Adhaan for Fajr being called.

And yesterday's paper was a bit tough.
So please cheer me up with that star.

Thank you!
❤❤❤