Heart Broken (Unedited)

Chapter Twelve

"One small crack does not mean that you are broken,it means that you were put to the test and you didn't fall apart"

*
After i finished setting the table, i lit incense burners all over the house with a new scent i've not used since my wedding. Its a mixture of different woods soaked in a variety of ouds. Then i returned to my room and prayed maghrib as i anticipated the arrival of Ya Ibrahim. I was still on my mat reciting some azkars when Zayyad came running into the house and screaming my name. I wonder where they've been. I decided to bath the kids before my brother arrives. While bathing Khulthum, my phone rang so i told Zayyad whom i was done bathing to answer it and put it on speaker for me. It was Ya Ibrahim asking for directions which apparently i do not know. I told him to hold on and asked Zayyad to take the phone to Grumpy. Shortly after i finished dressing the kids up, i went about changing my soaked clothes into dry ones. Then came their voices from the living room. I hurriedly finished dressing up and headed straight for the door where i almost bumped into Grumpy. I apologised for my clumsiness and he looked at me with what i think is amusement. He gave me a once over and then a disapproving look before he said;

Ibrahim is with friends, do wear a hijab.

I had completely forgotten about the hijab due to my eagerness to see my brother. So i quickly went back in and grabbed a hijab, then joined them in the living room. I entered with a Salam and immediately my eyes met Ya Ibrahim's. I ran to him and held him in a bone crushing hug and then i began to cry on his chest.

Whoa there tigress! Do not hug me to my grave.

He said in a playful tone. But when he realised that i was crying, he held onto me even tighter and kept patting my back gently. He let me cry for a few minutes before he told me to stop. I missed him so much. I've not set my eyes on him or any of my family members for the past six months. I live with a guy that is so grumpy and probably hates the sight of me. I sniffed and stopped crying, then met Ya Ibrahim's gaze and told him that i had missed him. I wished the ground beneath me would open up and swallow me when i noticed all the eyes that were on me. Then i smiled ever so shyly and tentatively sat down on the rug and greeted them.

Ahmad

Ruqayyah's reaction to seeing her brother was so unexpected. From the hug which i have to admit i was a little jealous of, to crying on his chest. I have an even broader chest for her to cry on and willing arms to comfort her too. Its my responsibility as her husband too. But why will she cry anyway? Then it hit me like a falling brick. She was crying because of me, because she is unhappy living with me. I have made her sad her whole stay with me. I have not given her the attention and care she deserves. I have fallen short of my duties as a husband even though Hajiya warned me against it. I am still a stranger to her. I feel horrible, so disgusted. What has this innocent soul done to me?. I need to make up for all my shortcomings. I have been thinking, oblivious to my surroundings until i hear my name being called.

Ahmad ango, we are trying to over stay our welcome right. I see the frown lines forming on your forehead.

Ibrahim pointed out laughing. I joined in their laughter and disagreed on that notion. I had a gratifying supper with the men after which i requested that we go and greet Hajiya at the main house, if they are not so tired. They agreed.

I rose and went to inform Ruqayyah who was in the kitchen. As i approached, i could hear her and the kids laughing. The sound of her laughter subconciously made me laugh too. When i reached the kitchen, the door wasn't completely closed so i stood there for minutes and watched them as they cleaned the dishes. They tried making bubbles out of the soapy water as they laughed hard. I imagined myself standing right there next to her with Zayyad and Khulthum as our carbon copies, our own. I smiled so wide at the mere though. I pushed the door wider and stepped in making all of them to turn in my direction. Khultum ran to me and i carried her in my arms and tickled her making her giggle in response. I could feel eyes on me so i turned and met hers. I smiled and told her that Ibrahim and his friends were about to leave. That news instantly changed her mood and she made her way to the door. I stopped her and told her to pick a gift bag on my room's vanity and send it to her Adda Asma through Ibrahim. I also informed her that i'll be taking Ibrahim and friends to greet Hajiya as per her request when i informed her about their visit earlier. She thanked me and with a shy smile left the kitchen.

*
When i came back home at around ten, i found her sleeping on the couch with the TV on. She must have slept off while waiting on me. Who am i kidding? I frowned. She slept off while watching a movie. I sat down and kept watching her. Beautiful even as she sleep. Her smooth skin, her dark brows, long and thick lashes. Her small pointed nose and her very luscious lips. Oh my God why am do i keep thinking like that. I scolded myself. Then went back to scrutinizing her. She is really beautiful. The true definition of a black beauty. An African queen, my queen. I can't believe it took me months to see all those things. I was blinded by Sakinah's love that i failed to acknowledge and appreciate the blessing that has been right in front of me. She stirred in her sleep and turned her back to me. Such pure innocence. But then a pang of jealousy hit me when i recalled earlier today when i came back just after maghrib. The house smelt like never before. Yes it does smell really nice all the time but today, it smelt even better. I also noticed that she's always either in gowns or abayas but earlier, she wore a skirt. A skirt for crying out loud. One which fit her perfectly. And what would have been the outcome if i hadn't been in the room when she was rushing to meet men without her hijab. Oh and that hug she gave Ibrahim. Hmm. Doesn't he know that she's no longer a girl and has a husband who can hug her even better? I have to do something about that. My heart was burning at that thought when she spoke. She spoke in a voice that can render any sane man motionless. A voice that can revert insanity. And when i met her gaze and those beautiful orbs of hers stared right back at me, i could swear my heart skipped a bit. She spoke again. A bit audible this time and then she sat up.

Grumpy you're back already? Is there anything i can do for you before i retire to my room?

Bewildered as i was, i said "no". And then she rose.  My eyes and attention solely on her till she was out of sight. "Grumpy" Did she just call me grumpy? Am i grumpy? No i am not grumpy. Is that what she thinks of me? Oh the nerve of Ruqayyah.

What do you think of heartbroken so far??? Hope you are enjoying it.
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