Heart Broken (Unedited)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

"Sometimes its hard to move on but once you do, you'll realize it's the best thing you've ever decided to do"

Ruqayyah

A week after we returned to KT, we travelled to Gombe. Ramadhan was less than a week away and Mama was sick. We spent three days in Gombe. There we visited relatives both mine and his. I had a good time at home.

A day after we came back, Hajiya and the others left for Saudi Arabia to perform Umrah, the lesser hajj. The moon was sighted two days after and Ramadhan began. Ya Ahmad wanted us to completely recite the whole Qur'an atleast twice before the month ended. So every morning after subh we would pray together and recite the Qur'an till the sun comes up. He then leaves for work and i sleep for about two hours before i wake up and resume recitations. He made it routine to come back home for every Salah so he leads me in prayer and we recite the Qur'an together afterwards. After asr, he helps prepare iftar.

We usually break our fast with odd number of dates. After maghrib, we eat fruits and our cooked meal after praying the taraweeh. We would then recite the Qur'an before turning in for the night. We would wake up at 2am to do our qiyamul layl and more recitations until it is time for suhr. So much serenity enveloped our home. Even when i took a break off salah, he would still wake me up to recite together and do alot of azkars.

On the fourteenth day of ramadhan, we took off for Umrah as well. Hajiya and the family were expected back in Nigeria just three days after we arrived Madinah.

The last time i performed Umrah was when Baba was still alive. I had just started secondary school then. Now i'm back as a matured person with a lot of requests to ask of Allah. The remaining days of ramadhaan went by like a breeze. But thankfully we were able to perform our ibadat to the best of our abilities. And we only pray that Allah the Almighty accepts it from us. Five days after eid, we came back home.

Ahmad

Ruqayyah started registrations at AUK. She became busy even though at times i go along with her and Aisha to help them out.

Two weeks after completion of registration, they began attending classes. I also started preparing to leave for my course. Whenever i think of Leeds, i get this feeling of loneliness and a sense of emptiness. How would it be possible to stay away from her for months now that i find it difficult to sleep well without her beside me. The feeling kept eating away at me and i'm sure i've lost some kilos due to that. I was so stressed and she wasn't always available.

Most times i came home before her and she is often tired when she gets back. I have less than three weeks before i depart. And i intend to make memories with my wife before then. I think i'll just stop her from going to AUK and take her along to the UK. I mean it's just six months. We'll defer her admission and she'll join the following session once we get back. I'll talk to her about it when she's awake. In fact she overworks herself at school. She eats less even though she's never been much of an eater. I've noticed the constant mood swings too. Not to mention her sudden preference for very spicy food. The other day she prepared a very spicy spaghetti. My tongue was practically on fire. When i took the first forkful, i almost spat it out. I remember her looking at me expectantly when i tasted it. "Delicious" I had told her and that came out more strained than i had hoped. Well, it would have been if not for the spiciness that numbed my taste buds. I broke down in sweat at the third forkful. Ruqayyah on the other hand was really enjoying her meal. It seemed alien to me 'cause she never really liked anything with so much pepper in it. I was thankful when her phone rang and she left the table. I chugged down a whole bottle of water instantly. I put out my tongue like a puppy willing the heat to just disappear. When she came back to the table, she gave me her questioning look. I told her that there's been an emergency at work and i had to immediately rectify the malfunctioning software. I lied. But what is a man to do. I quickly left the house to get some air. I didn't want her to know i couldn't eat something she took her time to cook to impress me even with her busy schedule. Hajiya taught me to always show appreciation for any little thing a woman does. "It means alot to us" Hajiya had said. My wife on had even lost weight due to the stress, i've noticed.

Ruqayyah

Lying down, i couldn't sleep. I've been so tired i could barely keep my eyes open 'cause of the heavy sleep i felt. But immediately i put my back on the bed, i felt the now familiar back pain. I've been having these back pains for some days now. I've even grown tired of taking analgesics. At first, it started as mild cramps but gradually it became severe. It's becoming unbearable. Then there's the persistent abdominal cramps that are constantly torturing me as well.

Ya Salam! My head hurts. My abdomen churned making me run to the bathroom. I noticed blotches of blood. Most be my long awaited guest, Mr Red. But the pain is all too foreign to me.

From the bathroom, i heard Ya Ahmad's voice informing me he was leaving for the masjid. Shortly after, the sound of the door closing came. I was in so much pain i wanted to scream. I kept praying nonetheless. Several minutes later, the pain subsided and i broke into a cold sweat. I changed into my nightwear and went straight to bed. Before i could process anything, i fell into a deep slumber. About an hour later, i opened my eyes to a sharp sting in my back. Then the pain in my abdomen awakened as well. This is torture. I put my arms over my abdomen as if to magically stop the pain. I should drink ice cold water. That might help i suppose. With great difficulty i made my way to the kitchen. A little past the hallway and i couldn't move. I stopped dead in my tracks as the pain intensified. I gritted my teeth so hard trying to contain all the pain. Slowly, i crouched to the floor and grunted. Feeling warmth run down from my thighs to my legs, i started panicking. I was so enveloped in the pain and fear that i didn't hear him come in until he rushed towards me calling my name.

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un! Ruqayyah what is wrong with you? Are you hurt? Where does it pain?

I looked in the direction of his eyes. Blood! I was bleeding. He looked terrified. Panic stricken. He took me in his arms and carried me to the car. He went back in and got me a hijab before hastily driving out. He was drove at a high speed. Before i passed out, i heard his worried voice talking to someone over the phone.

Ahmad

I've been so worried and restless since i brought her in. The doctor assured me she was going to be fine as they wheeled her into the theatre. I kept pacing up and down wondering what could have caused the bleeding. The clock wasn't ticking as time went by slowly. What was taking the doctors so long i wondered. Hajiya and Amin came rushing into the clinic. Hajiya kept reassuring me that nothing would happen to her. The doctor came shortly after and motioned that i should follow him. He said she had a miscarriage. I looked at him dumbfounded like he had onions sprouting from his cranium. He repeated what he said and it took me a little while to regain my composure and understand his words.

Doctor, does that mean she was pregnant? Are you certain it was a miscarriage and not something else?

The doctor looked at me as if questioning my sanity. I sighed before saying Alhamdulillah. I asked if i could see my wife before leaving his office. When i told Hajiya what the doctor had said, she became so happy and thanked Allah countless times before showing her disappointment. The bipolar Momma.

When i entered her room, Ruqayyah looked tired. I went up to her before taking her hands in mine and gently giving it a squeeze.

Thank you Adda Ruky. May Allah bless us with another conception again. I'm so sorry about this one. How are you feeling?

Her eyes glistened as she weakly said an Ameen. The doctors must have told her too. I still haven't completely gotten my bearings. The doctor's revelation was a shocker.

Another chapter as requested. See the star down there, make it glow.
#Kisses
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