Early Stages

Left Me Alone

I got accustomed to the silence
That came when they went
When they had abandoned me.

The melody of my silence
Would accompany my thoughts
So I grew to like being alone.

But new friendships were formed
After others were broken
We'd be crazy and wild together.

But as years come to pass
I grow more frightful
Of whether a repeat would happen.

If in only an instant
An event or graduation
I'd be all by myself again.

I could've handled it before
But things have changed now
I can't stand to lose who I've grown to love.

This shouldn't have happened
I shouldn't have grown attached
I should've just kept my distance.

I went from the non-existent
From the silence and the emptiness
To a side of me I didn't know exist.

Ask me some years ago
What are my biggest fears
I would've said I didn't know.

But with the relationships formed
And relationships wanted
I've figured out the fears that I own.

People have left me before
I never held onto that
So why is it different now?

Throughout this so-called life
We're bound to lose a loved
Yet I'm afraid to be forgotten.

I know it's too much to ask
But please don't leave me again
I don't want to be forced back to that silence.

~

I'm someone that rather likes my alone time but I wouldn't mind spending time with those I'm comfortable with. (Thinking about it, I probably spend more time alone than with people.) I have lost friends before. Not so much because of an incident or falling out but more due to the fact that we went on to secondary school different secondary schools and lost contact with each other.

I think the main difference between me then versus me now is that I'm terrified of losing those I've grown attached to or by being forgotten. We've made a lot of memories and they've developed a lot of things about myself. Now comes another transition phase and it's just to wait and see what happens now.

What are you guys afraid of? Does silence bother you?

Until next time,
Ade Alethra