We Got Married | k.sj

MiGa: Hospital

As I stumbled out of the school, I swore to myself I wouldn't cry. This isn't something to cry over. Yet, I could feel my eyelashes grow heavy from the water that stained them.

I didn't care. I didn't care about the cameras, the public, not even of Jin. All that filled my mind was my mother. My mother who I had hated before, but learned to love.

She had gone into cardiac arrest.

She was sick, I knew. She would often faint according to my brother, but I thought it was just stress. I mentally slap myself for not thinking straight. What stress? She had the life that she had always wanted. She had all the money in the world thanks to her successful children. What stress?

I hailed a taxi, ignoring the shouts of my manager. I knew I was going to get scolded for this, but I didn't care. I didn't realize, but Jin had gotten into the cab with me. "Fei Wu Hospital," I said quickly. I could barely register what was happening. Only that my mother is at the hospital, and I have to get there. I felt my pocket vibrate, but I ignored the incoming call.

I was grateful to Jin, who didn't question anything. He didn't tell me to answer my phone, or that I shouldn't have done that. Instead, he pulled me into a hug. I started crying, and the tears wouldn't stop.

"MiMi-ah," he whispered softly. The only thing I need now is to be reminded of my past. I cried harder. Jin held me tighter. I seemed to forget everything, only the time slowly ticking away. 

Time that I could be spending with my mother; time that was precious to my mother. 

"We're here," the taxi driver said gruffly. "T-thank you." I fumble around for money, but Jin hands him a bill. He smiles at me sadly, "It's fine. I got you." If I wasn't an emotional wreck, I would smile back and thank him. But instead, I stumble out of the car and rush to the hospital. The sterile white walls greeted me.

I made it to the front desk, wiping my tears. I open my mouth to speak, but a voice interrupts me. "Miga!" I turn to see Yang Yang rushing over. "Yang Yang." I hug him.

"What's he doing here?" Yang Yang eyes Jin, who's standing awkwardly at the front. It's not like Yang Yang dislikes Jin or anything, it's just strange to see him here in this situation.

"We had filming when I got your call," I explained hurriedly. "What about Mother? Is she okay?" Yang Yang fell silent. That could only mean one thing... "No... no," I mutter. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't...

I hadn't seen her in so long. I forget what my last words to her were, what her last words to me were. I forgot what our last conversation was about, but I have a feeling that it hadn't gone well. This couldn't be-

And then it was black.

*****

I learned to hate the white walls. When I was sitting there, staring at nothing but the walls, I learned to hate it. White is the color of what is pure, happiness, heaven. But what is any of that when the hospital was nothing but Hell; a place where people must wait only to receive the news that their loved ones had died. I hate the white walls trying to convince me it's okay. It's not. I hated the color white. All I wanted to do was scream and smear black paint all over the perfectly white walls. But I didn't. Instead, I sat frozen, paralyzed in my seat. My hands were crossed firmly across my lap.

I hadn't spoken a word since they had injected some sedative into my system. I awoke on a hospital bed, Jin by my side. I had immediately gotten up. Jin and I seemed to have some conversation with our eyes. "I'm sorry-" I was crying again. Jin held my face in his hands and wiped my tears away. I was comforted by his presence. I was thankful that he was here for me. Why wasn't he scared away? We were only work partners. Only work partners, but Jin cared so much.

"You can come in now." I glanced up to see my other brother, Hekai, and his wife leaving the room. I quietly stood up. I started walking, my hand almost grasping the doorknob. Then, I turned back. "Come with me," I say to Jin. He's surprised at my request.

I know he feels awkward right now. He doesn't know how to speak Chinese. He can't communicate with anybody except me, and I was a wreck right now. He kept his distance. I really do respect him. I don't think I could be so brave if I was in his place. I smiled at him. Mother would have loved him. But then again, she already did, from the countless times I called Yang Yang.

Jin walks with me into the room. Mother is laying on a bed. She looked so peaceful, her eyes closed, her hands folded on her chest. A pleasant look was on her face, in place of her usual face, twisted with stress and anger. She seemed fake. She seemed lifeless. She is lifeless.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. My chest as if seemed to tighten, blocking out any emotions. I had no more tears to shed, so I just stood there. And then I held my mother's hand. It was cold, yet delicate.

Everything was so surreal. Even though I never experienced anybody dying before, I felt like I had. Maybe because I was so used to people leaving me. People I had trusted more than my mother had left me before. So maybe that's why, now that I look at it, I'm calm. I just hold my mother's hand.

"I'm sorry I never said goodbye," I whisper to her. I squeeze my eyes shut, taking in deep breaths of the cool air. And I was done. I let go of her hand. Jin touched my shoulder, but my eyes were vacant. I had gone into some mode in which I felt no feelings. I was just there. I slowly nod. "Okay. I'm okay. I'm done." I walk to the door and open it. Once I file out, and I see Yang Yang go in does the realization hit me. I'll never see her again. Ever.

But I don't cry.

You know what, I'm glad she's gone. I think back to my childhood. I think back to every single time my mother has yelled at me, abandoned me, used me. I know what I was to her. She never paid any attention to me until I became an idol. Then I was all of a sudden her favorite child. But I knew better. Every single time I visited, she would only ask for money. Pity me, oh pity me. That's why I never visited.

But she didn't leave me. She didn't leave the family.

So I have to be heartbroken. HAVE to.

My manager burst into the hospital. "Miga." His voice was stern. He was going to scold me. But I was in no mood for that. I didn't care. I was too busy trying to be heartbroken. Jin seemed to know, as he stood up and asked to talk to my manager. I gave Jin a thankful look before returning to my vacant state.

Jin and my manager emerged from wherever they were a few minutes later. Jin sat down in the seat next to me while my manager came up to me. He sighed, "The company won't be happy, but they'll understand." I nod my head. Like I care what the company thinks. My mother's dead. "I'm sorry..." He said. I nod.

My manager then takes out his phone. "I have to handle some things. Talk to the company. Talk to the producers. They're not happy, but we'll figure something out." For the first time, I realized that I had so many people around me who cared. Even my manager, who had a business mindset, is letting me off. Death can do things to people.

Yang Yang exited the room with a grim look. "She's gone," He whispered. I nod my head slightly. Yes, she really is gone. The pain once again entered my chest. Without thinking, I all of a sudden grabbed onto Jin. I needed someone to hold. Jin was surprised but eventually wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head, "Don't be."

It was from then on that Jin crossed the invisible line between work partners, and something more.

*****

A/N: I can't get enough of Day6 right now. Like, How Can I Say is my jam. 

And I have this animation class where I had to make a two to three-minute animation. I did some super cliche story and had Butterfly piano ver. play in the background. istg I'm too dedicated.