Kidney Donor// Liam Payne

《Chapter 32》Not Okay

LIAM POV

Once she walked off, my heart sunk in my chest... And I smacked myself in the head.

How stupid can you be, Liam?

I know she wasn't all upset about what I said, and I knew I'd find a way to get her to forgive me... but her whole defensive actions when I brought of her health, worried me to death.

Something was wrong, definitely wrong, but I didn't know what... And I think I have a right to know.

Wait, I have Essie next period for Economy.

I'll ask Essie. She'll tell me.

I turned around and rushed to class. I shuffled through the halls, anxious to get there early, hope Essie was there early.

.I caught a glimpse of Niall and Essie walking side by side in in my direction, and sighed. I didn't want to disrupt their time. So, I just walked inside my class and waited.

I sat in the seat in the far back, just so I can be closer to Essie.

I watched when she came in, and as she walked to her seat, she then caught my gaze and rose an eyebrow at me. I smiled slightly, waving at her to sit in the desk next to me. I knew I'd have to kiss up to her if I wanted her to tell me anything. She's always on Kelsey's side.

She hesitated for a bit, before cautiously looking around the room, and taking a seat beside me.

"Hey," I breathed, quickly smacking down the warm up question on my paper, trying to make sure the teacher doesn't notice our displacement.

"What's crackin', dude," she replied, looking down at the notebook she slipped out of her bag. She then looked up at me, her hazel eyes confused for a second, before she read my concerned expression.

"Is it about Kelsey?" she sighed, I pursed my lips, nodding. She froze beside me as I answered the warm up, hurrying up so I can talk to her with my full attention.

"Liam, I swear, if you're using her I'm going to kick your ass so hard your shit will come out of your mouth," she hissed at me.

I snapped my head up at her, my eyes open in disbelief.

"Oh god no, Essie," I huffed back. I wasn't able to find any humor in her threat, because I was completely serious. Horror-struck.

She eyed me for a second, before nodding her head. "Oh," she let her eyes flicker to the front of the room for a second, before she sent them back to me.

"What's wrong?" she sounded confused.

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it...confused on what to ask. I looked back at her, setting my elbow on the desk and turning my head to her, so no one would see my expression.

"I just had an argument with Kelsey," I breathed. I felt like complete shit again for what I had said. But I knew I couldn't go into detail with Essie, because If i told her what I had mindlessly and stupidly told her, she's refuse to talk to me.

"And what happened?" she lowered her tone, becoming dark and defensive. I knew this was going to be hard, but I was overwhelmingly anxious. I couldn't take this anymore.

"She doesn't want to tell me anything, Essie. I'm worried sick," I whispered, the stress tensing my muscles as I thought about it.

Essie sent me this look of understanding, before sighing and looking back up at the class. It seemed like she was going to tell me something important, and I rose my head in anticipation for the worst.

"She hasn't told me much either," she admitted. I guess that was just as worse. I groaned in disappointment, sliding my head onto the desk and into my arms. Damn, Kelsey.

"She just doesn't want us to hurt for her, that's all," Essie's pitch heightened. I looked up from the dark cover of my arms, finding Essie's gaze far out of focus of the front desk, her face showing only sadness.

"What do you mean?" I sat up a little more once I saw her eyes gleam with wetness. Essie let out a deep breath, shaking her head before writing down what was on the board.

I scooted closer, desperate.

"Essie, please tell me," I begged, holding onto her forearm. " Please, what's wrong with Kelsey? She's getting better right?" I began to ask as I saw Essie's face only drown in agony at my words.

I already knew that Kelsey might have Kidney Failure, but if she was treating it well, her kidney must've grown stronger... She has to be just fine, right. Right?

Why am I so unprepared for this? I should be expecting this, should be being strong for Kelsey, but I dreaded any thought that may lead her to leave me again.

Especially now that we're closer than ever.

Now that she's finally mine.

"Liam, Kelsey didn't tell you in the hospital did she?" she whispered now, setting her hands to her lap as she thought, her sudden mood seeming ruined.. She looked at me as I held my breath, her hazel eyes broken.

"Liam, Kelsey did have Kidney Failure already, and they gave her around fourteen months until it gave up,"

I just continued to gaze at her, my mouth opened in disbelief... My mind going a million places at once.

"Well, she signed up for a donor right? It shouldn't take more than a year or two, right? Like me? She can just get another one donated, like me?" I began to ramble, my eyes watering as Essie glared at me with sympathy. She shook her head.

"Liam, please don't tell Kels I told you," she pouted.

"Mr.Payne?" we both suddenly turned our heads to the front of the class, Mrs.Bourdage giving me a soft look of concern once I turned my attention to her. The whole class looked back at me, and I tried hard to hold in a grimace. She hesitated slightly. I looked back at Essie, who shrugged sadly.

"Andrew, come up and show your answer to last nights homework question," Mrs.Bourdage swiftly nodded, grabbing her paperwork and walking past my neighbor who hurried to the front whiteboard.

She stood in the back of the class, her body language tense as she watched the student in front of the class nervously explain.

"Are you okay, Liam?" she then whispered beside me.

I was taken off guard by her concern, and looked up at her, feeling my eyes water as I thought about Essie's words.

"No," I breathed.

"Then go be okay, go talk to the counselor" she passed me a hall pass.

I looked up at her, and she smiled warmly.

She knew that I wasn't going to come back to class, but  what she didn't know that now, I wasn't planning on going to the counselor's office either.

"Thank you," I sniffed, grabbing my bag.

I'm going to go straight to Kelsey now.