City Of Dreams

Twenty-Nine

He grabbed the sleeve of my shirt.

I tear away from his grip and run.

I run until I get to wherever I was going.

My face burns and my heart seems to explode.

I finally find my way to the Music Box Theater.

My knees buckle and I lean against the wall.

People stare.

But my mind is elsewhere.

He's lying.

This isn't right.

It's not true.

It can't be.

I stay leaning on the wall of the theater for another hour, trying to compose myself.

My phone buzzes again in my pocket.

I stare at the cracked screen.

Darren- You need to come back. She's asking for you.

I wince, composing myself and putting on the same fake smile.

__________________________

I shove my earbuds into my ears and take my time getting to the hospital.

A song floods through the device, entrapping me in the sound.

"Hands touch, eyes meet, sudden silence, sudden heat. Hearts leap in a giddy whirl. He could be that boy. But I'm not that girl."

I sigh, turning up the volume and putting my hands in my pockets.

"Don't dream too far, don't lose sight of who you are, don't remember that rush of joy, he could be that boy. I'm not that girl."

The sun shines brightly, making me squint.

"Every so often we long to steal to the land of what-might-have-been, but that doesn't soften the ache we feel when reality sets back in."

I hum along, remembering I have a show tonight.

"Blithe smile, lithe limb, she's who's winsome, she wins him. Gold hair with a gentle curl."

I repeat the last line.

"Gold hair with a gentle curl..."

"That's the girl he chose, and heaven knows I'm not that girl. Don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart. I wasn't born for the rose and pearl. There's a girl I know. He loves her so...I'm not that girl."

I don't even notice the tears falling down my face until I come to the hospital doors.

"I'm not that girl..."