City Of Dreams

Sixty-Four

I look closely at this girl.

She's way prettier than you.

No wonder Addie likes her.

I'm surprised they acknowledged your return at all.

Look at this girl!

She catches my eye and I look down at my water.

"So....."

I pause, trying to remember her name.

She glares.

"Victoria."

I nod.

"Victoria, I hear you're in Dear Evan Hansen. That's cool."

She mumbles something and faces Darren.

She scoots her chair closer.

This hoe.

She's about to touch him.

This bitch is gonna touch him.

She's gonna fucking touch him!

Her hand reaches up in slow motion.

I clear my throat loudly and she pulls back.

"Darren are you still in Hamilton? That's so amazing!"

Ass kisser.

Darren nods.

"Yeah. I was in In The Heights before. That's how Charlotte and I met."

He turned around and smiled at me.

I smiled back, tugging on my hoodie strings.

She mumbled something to herself again and avoided looking at me.

Does no one else see this?!

Are you both blind?!

I laugh weakly.

My eyes find their way back to Addie's head.

She's dyed almost every inch of the blonde pink.

She's taller too.

And some left over weight from the baby still lingers around her stomach.

I cringe.

None of this has given me more panic than seeing how much they've changed.

Victoria catches me staring at Addie's head.

"Addie and I got our hair dyed together."

I ignored her voice.

It's just one of many.

"Charlotte?"

Addie frowns at me.

I nod.

"Yep. Great."

I mutter.

Victoria turns back to her left and continues talking about how great Dear Evan Hansen is.

My mind drifts to Tony night.

I smile under my curtain of hair.

Darren doesn't stop touching me in some way the rest of the day.

Whether he's holding my hand or touching my arm or our elbows touching.

He touches me somehow as to make sure I don't get up and run away or just vanish into thin air.

I rise, knocking Darren's hand off my shoulder in the process.

"I'll be right back."

Darren's eyes widen.

"I'm coming back."

He looks at his coffee.

"Promise."

I say and squeeze his shoulder before walking to the bathroom.

When the door closes to the one seater, I slide onto my butt.

Way better.

Go back.

Go out there.

Kill her.

She's just a filler.

She'll be gone soon.

Ignore her.

Let it go.

A knock at the door jars my thoughts and forces me to my feet.

I run the water in the sink.

The water flows for a minute before I turn it off and leave the bathroom.

Darren smiles when I sit back down.

I wink at him and listen to Addie talk about makeup.

I zone out while she's blabbering about lipstick.

The world outside this cafe calls me.

It is screaming, begging me to explore it.

I feel the urge to stand up again and just walk.

I've missed New York.

I've missed the smell.

Kinda.

I've missed the way the drivers never follow the no-honking law.

I've missed the buildings and how if you look up at them for too long, you get dizzy.

I zone back in for a brief moment.

My eyes focus on Darren and Addie.

Most of all, I've missed them.