Etiquette
noun et·i·quette \ˈe-ti-kət, -ˌket\
: the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life
Join us (secret assholes in disguise), give you advice on the DO's an...
What do you do when you live in a house with 5 other people and there's only one bathroom?
How do you deal with morning rush hour?
What do you do when it's finally your turn but there's no warm water for at least another 100 years- if it's a good day. And you're a little stinky because you were playing hockey all afternoon on the previous day. You were too exhausted to bath when you got home?
Call it karma?
HOW TO HAVE AN ACCEPTABLE ODOUR:
The Air Freshener Method:
Well the fastest solution according to your brain due to the 10 minutes you got left on your watch cause you just loooove sleeping in, would be to bathe yourself in fabreze and pray nobody will notice that you smell like a toilet. But they will. So don't.
I Plead The Fish:
Wing it and plead the fish. Blame everything on the guy driving down the road with fresh fish in his little bicycle for throwing you with some funky smelling tuna in the face.
Swirly:
So you're stuck in the bathroom. Doing your morning business, angry as hell. And you look down between your legs. "Should I?" Let me be the voice in your head that screams bloody murder. Sweet cheeks, no. Hell no!
Wax On, Wax Off:
So you know those annoying little wipes you get when you get your shark weak surfboards? Use it. Wipe yourself all over like a Range Rover. Even if you smell "lightly scented with Lavender fragrance", be like Nike and just do it! You will thank us.
Braveheart:
Have you ever watched that movie with the guy with the blue face-paint and the man-skirt screaming something that makes you wanna cry river's like J.T?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Why not grow some chest hair and get in that shower and wash yourself with Satan water no matter how much your body goes numb from the cold.
The Car Fragrance ThingyMaBob:
So you couldn't figure out what to do about that stench because you wouldn't dare touch -30° Satan water cause you're a scaredy cat. So you're sitting in the car biting your nails and fingertips till they bleed wandering what the hell you gonna do cause you smell like the fish they served at Christmas dinner last year. Your eyes spy the little fragrance thingymabob hanging from the back-mirror like an invitation. Don't go there. Just DON'T, no matter how tempting that Musk Oak thing is provoking you. Don't.
◼⬛◼
Moral Of The Story: Just have a bath the night before, or brave the cold. Better yet, wake up earlier, head to the shower and finish all the hot water and snuggle back into bed ;-0
