Double D's

argo-ego

It was rather unexpected, but here we are. Your friend had let it get to his head, and you wonder how they were able to walk through doorways without their head getting stuck.

Yes, your friend has developed a rather large and unhealthy ego.

And all because he's been getting higher grades than you.

That's not really the problem though. The real problem is the not-so subtle ways he is taking jabs at your own grades, going as far as "jokingly" calling you stupid!

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE SITUATION WITHOUT PUNCHING THIS ASSHOLE IN HIS FACE HOLE:

Down a Peg or Two:

Just because your friend has been getting better grades than you, that doesn't mean they're better than you at everything else. Maybe it's time to remind them of this. Make a list of all the things you know your friend is bad at, it sounds crappy when put like that, but don't worry, you're trying to save your friend from the clutches of the ego god, and start "subtly" showing him just how good you really are.

If you're not good at any of their weaknesses, then pick one that you think you'd enjoy and get better at it. It might take long, but the end results will be well worth it, and you'll get your humble friend back! Or as humble as they'll get. No one truly walks away unscathed from an unhealthy ego.

Always Someone Else:

Since your friend is always reminding you how much "smarter" they are than you, it's time to do the same to them. Because no matter how "smart" your friend my think they are, there's always going to be someone smarter, and you could totally point that out to them. Daily, if needed. Hopefully this will remind them that they're not God's perfect creation. Just because he got 96%, doesn't mean that he's the smartest. Look at the humble guy sitting in the corner of the class  with his 100%, I think he's far smarter and a better human being, perhaps your friend could learn something from him.

Alpha, Mike, Foxtrot:

Using military terms, maybe it's time for you to terminate your friendship with this friend. If this isn't the first time that they've let something get to their head and they always end up picking on you...then that's a sure sign that you need to reevaluate your relationship.

If this is the first time however, then there's no shame in backing off a bit. Show him that his words and actions are pushing you away. Maybe he'll come to their senses that way. If not, then it's his loss. There's plenty of fish in the sea for you to find a new friend amongst.

P.S. Kudos to you if you know what Alpha Mike Foxtrot stands for. If you don't, look it up! It's a good thing to know, I swear.

The Quiet Game:

So, A Quiet Place came out in 2018 and it has gotten a lot of good reviews. Why do I bring this up? Well, you don't exactly need a mysterious monster to show up for you to be quiet. Nothing annoys an egoistical person more than not getting a response from someone, so that's what you give them. You'll get a bonus effect if you manage to keep a straight face as well.

BAM:

None of the above options still hasn't pulled your friends head out of their own ass? Then it's time for you to bring out the big guns. You give it to your friend as you see it. Don't sugar coat your words, don't give them a chance to say anything, because guess what? Your friend has been talking non-stop and now it's your turn, so SIT DOWN! Let your friend have it! Tear them a new one, because you're done with their crap. If you're still friends after this, then I applaud you both.

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❝Ego trip: a journey to nowhere.❞

-Robert Half