Double D's

pizza-no-more

Last night, your family had actual food for once. Not that crap that your mom calls healthy, or just crispy- when it's actually burnt to the bone!

Vegetables aren't too bad. But imagine your mom being a tyrant, ensuring that you eat each and every pea on your plate, every single day.

What creature can live on peas? I'm pretty sure that the Princess who slept on peas found this to be a nuisance.

Being the eldest sibling of two monsters, teaches you to adapt. Especially when it comes to hiding the left-over pizza right in the back of the fridge. Next to those potent 'juices'. Sounds like a good spot, right?

Your entire school day includes of you doodling pizza slices in your book, and your teachers screaming at you for not paying attention.

Imagine your surprise when you came home after school and find your treasure to be in the mouth of another!?!

HOW TO BE GRACEFUL AND FINESSE-FUL:

Mind Games:

Next time you have his favourite food, mess with him. Make him feel like you probably spat in his food or cola. There isn't anything worse than eating you favourite food and not being able to enjoy it. You could even sprinkle some crushed pooping- tablets on his food. Who wouldn't love that?

Shush:

This only applies to you if they appear innocent, and its unintentional. Mind your own business, sure they stole your food and you've had a crappy day, but shouting at them will make it much worse. You both will end up saying things that you will soon regret, but that is the usual occurrences for sibling communications. But to be safe, don't say anything. They might have had a crapfest of a day too. And if both of you blow up, mommy might restrict pizza from your household forever!

Scream Out Your Lungs:

Storm outside and scream out all pf your frustrations. This is probably the most non-violent method. You won't hurt anyone, except the birds and the bugs. But it's fine, they scare you and everyone else more than enough...

Oh, Cockroach:

Next time, hide your food under your bed. It's not like they will look under there? And everyone keeps the junk that they don't want others to find under the bed. Just make sure that no dust or for the love of god, cockroaches and ants don't get into your food.

Let The Games Begin:

Forget everything written above! If you see that demon with a huge smile plastered on his face while eating your pizza, it means that it's time for WAR! Go all out, tackling is applicable or smashing his head in with HIS pillow, don't risk the fluffiness of your pillow. Make that twerp scream out for his  life. Whatever punishment you get will be worth it!

◼⬛◼

You should have made sure that mommy and daddy didn't have any other kids...