Double D's

chores-&-corruption

Guess who's being dumped on you at the least second when you had a glamorous weekend planned out? None other than your "adorable" (at times) little cousin.

Why does it seem that your family is determined to ruin your quality time with yourself? They should know how essential self care is, but they always seem to intrude upon your you time.

No amount of whining or complaining has relieved you if you duty. As much as you'd like the just run away, you're in charge of the life of another human being.
But, of course, because it's a part of the human condition, you've procrastinated throughout the week, and now you have a mountain of chores to complete. How are you supposed to do your chores AND watch a little human?

Sure, both might be a hassle, but you, dear reader, are a smart cookie. What if you were to combine the two obligations? Look at you using your power solving skills— we here at the Double D's are proud of you.

HOW TO HARNESS THE POWER OF A SMALL DEMON CHILD:

Chain of command: 
Your parents (or generic authority figure) placed you in charge. And if years of being told what to do by your parents have taught you anything, it's that you can essentially force the kid to do the chores. Forget that kids are human beings too, YOU NEED TO GET THESE CHORES DONE OR ELSE YOU'RE DEAD. If your parents have a problem with you shifting the responsibility, just remind them that it was them who put you in charge. If they don't want you to find creative ways to not do your work, they shouldn't dump a kid on you. It's like you have a triangle of chores, babysitting, and freedom. Pick two.

Bribery: 
Have you ever wanted to live you life on the edge? There's nothing edgier than living by risk and reward. Only.. there's no risk, and the reward is that you get to slack off and be 1000% lazy. The true recipient of the reward, however, is the tiny human being your watching over. Use kids inability to know what is a fair payoff and reward them for doing certain chores. Sweep the floor? Wow, here's some chocolate. Take out the trash? Good job, kiddo. You just earned fifteen extra minutes of cartoon time. While it may seem disproportionate to you, just know that kids aren't dumb. They won't accept prizes they don't thinks fair. So that should make it ethical, right?

Psychology 101: 
You know what people hate chores? While there's a sea of reasons why chores suck, one of the main reasons is that it's just straight up boring. Sure, you could spend your time being "productive", or you could spend the next couple of hours on you phone. A good notification for convincing this small child to do your work is by making them want to do it. How you ask? Make the other alternative SO boring that they'd want to do literally anything else. Sit down and talk about socioeconomics, chemistry, calculus— basically anything that makes your bored out of your mind. After ten minutes of talking about the process of balancing equations, suddenly picking up and putting away things doesn't seem so bad. 

Role Model: 
Sure, when you think of this, you might think we're asking you to step up anyways, but who can handle the pressure of being observed by a small child? Definitely not you. However, there are some figures that could step up to the plate. When you're dumping the load of work on the small demon spawn, just remember to remind them that Cinderella did the dishes. Or that dude Superman? Totally folded laundry. Just insert whatever character or person is remotely important to them and try not to think about how you're exploiting the admiration of a child.

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Is any of this considered slave labour?