Double D's

ripped

It has finally happened. You have gone your whole life managing to evade this situation...but it's here. It's finally here, and it's not pretty.

Your jeans have ripped in public.

That's right folks! One of the top three worst things that could happen to a person has just happened to you; ripped jeans in public.

HOW TO GET THROUGH SUCH A HORRIFIC SCENARIO:

Ye Jacket of Old:

As you can see in the title, you would need a jacket for this to work.

Now, allow me to set the scene for you:

You have just heard your jeans rip, but no one else around you seem to have noticed yet. As inconspicuous as you can, slowly make your way towards a wall and put your back to it. Keep an eye out as you do this next part. Slide your jacket off your shoulders, make a scene of making it seem as if you're incredibly hot, and tie that piece of garment around your waist like you life depends on it! And since it's your dignity on the line, that's a pretty damn close comparison.If you already have your jacket tied at your waist, then good for you! You're in the clear!

If you don't have a jacket, however, continue on to the next part!

Cha-Ching, Goes Your Wallet:

If you have a friend with you, you're going to need their help for this. Have them walk behind you for temporary coverage until you could get to one of those dollar stores that sell cheap jeans or something to that degree.

Generally, spending money should be your last resort, but seeing as this is such a dire situation, this should be either uour first, or second. Or, you know, you could just have your friend walk behind you for the rest of the time until you could get back home.

That's definitely a friendship milestone.

Human Malfunction on Isle 3:

You've heard of the Hall of Fame, now get ready for the Ball of Shame!

There's really only one way to tackle this option. You hear and feel your pants rip; curl up into a fetal position and say, "Good bye, cruel world!" It doesn't matter if it's in the middle of the road or in a busy mall. You got to let those around you know just how done you are with the situation.

Add in some dramatics if you can, e.g. rock back and forth, mumble under your breath about the death of your enemies, or maybe some hysterical laughing as well! Maybe if you act crazy enough, the authorities will get contacted and they escort you out of there.

Might as well end this situation with a bang...er, wail, I guess.

P.S. please don't resort to this unless extremely necessary.

The Bigger, the Better:

Now, now, don't go getting dirty thoughts in your head, that title is merely an example of how something ridiculous could totally make people focus on something else entirely.

For example, your jeans ripped, and it's quite obvious. What can you do to divert the masses attention away from your ripped jeans? Oh, look, it's that really famous person from that one equally famous show! Would you look at that? The store over there is having a HUGE sale, just for today! OH, MY GOD IS THAT A RAT?!

Do you get what I mean? Make it as ridiculous as you can, and everyone will forget about your ripped jeans... Hopefully.

Fashion Week:

Okay, so your jeans are ripped, but in all the other scenarios we've had so far, it has ripped in very embarrassing places (read: the crotch area). What if it ripped down your leg, or maybe near the thighs? Those are relatively harmless places, so therefore, there's no shame in strutting and owning the rip. Let them people see just how much you really don't care.

Or maybe the crotch did rip and you still strut it...I'd say, "Kudos to you."

You do you, boo, as long as it doesn't get you in trouble.

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Just remember to be mindful of those around you when you do these things.