Etiquette
noun et·i·quette \ˈe-ti-kət, -ˌket\
: the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life
Join us (secret assholes in disguise), give you advice on the DO's an...
Today is the day that you were going to confess your love to your long time boyfriend...
But then he says, "It's not you, it's me."
The most cliche breakup line... Has just been used on you!?!?
You are rendered speechless, and you scurry away from his horrible, sympathetic stare...
Your sob uncontrollably, in the middle of the park.
All the little children stare at you funny and point their stumpy fingers at you as their mommies drag them away with a quick tug.
You eyes are clouded by tears, you fall to the ground and there lies the most beautiful fascinating and delicious thing that this world has to offer...
There is a divine chocolate cake laying on the table, there is no one around.... The cake has just been deserted, you frantically look around for a glorious utensil to eat this cake.
But wait, the table is completely empty, there's nothing except for the cake.
WHAT TO DO WITH THE CAKE:
Who Gives A Fudge:
Who needs utensils? Who needs men? Just dig right into that cake that you rightfully deserve.
Your Delivery Is Ready:
Just grab the cake and walk to the closest place with utensils. Remember that those people who are staring at you, stare because they are jealous of your amazingly scented cake. Not because of the mascara running down your face.
A Present For The Ex:
Snatch the cake from the table, sprint to where your ex was last seen. Make sure that you see his face before you politely offer him cake. Once you confirm that it is him, tap him on the shoulder. When he turns his head, smash that cake into his face!
Kids Time:
It may seem generous to offer the kid who has their eyes glued to the cake, a piece of this deliciousness, but don't. Don't go anywhere near children who don't know you, especially when you are a mess.
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