Preying Her

Chapter 31

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Accident

I'm trying my best to breathe properly but I cannot reach the peak of it. Its really hard to accept that he's gone now. The man I loved who always protects me. The person who always makes me happy, loved and safe. He's gone, he is really gone now. I want to scream, I want to punch someone, I want to hurt myself just to release this pain inside my heart. It's suffocating! Ang sakit, sobrang sakit. Hindi ko kayang mawala siya.

When you loose something you can't replace. And when you lack anything you can't easily fill.

Tears runs down on my face when I realize that I can't easily replace him in my heart. Siya lang, siya lang ang sa puso ko at siya lang din ang makakatanggal ng sakit nito.

Everyone knows it wasn't easy to forget someone you really loved. Ang hirap talagang tanggapin na wala na siya. Ang sikip-sikip sa dibdib na hindi ko alam kung tumitibok pa ba ang puso ko.

"Bring him back," I cried.

Just bring him back to me Lord and I will do everything according to your will. Just bring Cadris back to me.

"Miss umalis ka diyan!" someone shouted at my back but I didn't bother to listen to him.

I continuously heard the beeping of the cars. Iyong mga sigawan sa likod ko habang naglalakad sa gitna ng kalsada. Nakakatanggap na'ko ng mura pero hindi parin ako nakikinig sa kanila.

Nasasaktan ako. I want to stay here in the middle of the road, crying like a shit, the whole night. Ayokong umalis dito. Just keep on cursing people, because I deserved that curse. I am nuts, I'm a fucking asshole, crazy and a total shit.

"Miss!"

May humigit sa'kin at hindi ko alam kung sino. Wala akong gana para paglaanan siya ng oras. Gusto ko lang ngayon ay maglakad ng maglakad hanggang sa makaramdam ako ng pagod. Para ng sagano'n ay mapalitan ng pagod ang sakit ng nararamdaman ko.

The road is really helping me. Siguro pinagawa ito hindi para sa sasakyan, pinagawa ito sa mga taong nasasaktan para may roon ding papupuntahan ang buhay nila sa sakit na naranasan.

It's really the path you take and maybe the path I choose is not the path I really want, the path of selfishness and self-seeking. I am only concerned that time about getting the love and attention of my mother. I did not care about him, I did not care about his feelings. I only care about myself, I only care about my needs. I'm selfish, I am a very selfish person. At ito ang napala ko sa pagiging makasarili ko. I lost him. I lost my the half of my heart.

"Iha? Okay ka lang ba?"

I let my tears fall all over and over again. I cried in front of this man. He looked at me confused.

"Why does it hurt so much?"

"Iha, dadalhin kita sa Police station para matawagan ang kamag-anak mo."

I sniffed as I looked above the sky. Mabuti pa ang mga bituin, buhay na buhay pero ako, patay na patay na sa sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"Why do you need to leave me? Does I hurt you so much?"

I am now talking nonsense. I'm really out of my mind. Siguro, iniisip na ngayon ng lalaking ito sa harapan ko na baliw na'ko. Dahil sobrang layo sa tanong niya ang mga sinasagot ko.

"Iha, okay ka lang ba? Saan ang mga magulang mo?"

I looked at him and he looked so worried about me. I smiled bitterly to him. Tinalikuran ko siya at nagsimulang maglakad muli at kasabay din no'n ang pagbuhos ng malakas na ulan. Even the rain knows how I feel.