Gangsta's Paradise

Forty

December 3, 2013

Meek

"Nicki just tell me what the problem is?! " I yell.

"Why?!"

"Because you always getting people off topic about you and your damn birthday? You hate the day you was born?!"

"No Meek. I just don't celebrate it " She says yelling at me.

"Why?! It's not important to you?!"

"No!" She says frustrated. I could tell cause she started wiping tears away. Nicki doesn't like crying cause she thinks it makes her look weak but I don't care about that shit. It just shows the emotions. And her emotions right now were either pain or seriousness.

"Nicki just tell me why? I don't wanna keep arguing with you up until your birthday over with" I say pulling her to me. I make her sit next to me on the couch. She puts her face in her hands and sits up sighing.

"I loved my birthday. Until it was the third year I was with Blaze." She says putting her hands in her face and then looks up.

"Blaze shot me two days before my birthday" she says wiping her face. "I told him I was pregnant and he was in rage because I said I didn't wanna have an abortion. He basically gave me an ultimatum and said it was between me or the baby. I thought he was going to kill me with no hesitation. He shot me and abused me for ten minutes straight. Took me to a hospital and said that I was attacked and shot trying to come home. " she says as I see tears escape her eyes. She sniffs wiping them away.

"I didn't tell anyone or talk to anyone for two weeks. Blaze didn't even see me after dropping me off. He was so into a deal he had going on that he didn't have any care if I was even okay. Didn't check on me or anything. I was alone on my birthday and left with the memory of a doctor saying I lost a baby I had developed for two months. I was broken and being with him longer every year he just showed me that it was just another day. Nothing important " she says.

It was silence in the room for a minute. I make her look at me.

"All he would do was buy me something just to make me feel good or maybe he was guilty and thought that would make up for him abusing me. " she says sighing.

"It is important. December 8th is just another day but it's important because you were given life on the day. I'm sorry you had to go through that but you shouldn't stop caring for your own day. That day was given to you to say it's about you. You could be making better memories and leaving that far behind your mind" I say.

"Meek understand me when I say I haven't had anyone like you love me the way you do. I've always kept walls built around me to say I was going to have to do for myself. I haven't felt love like this in so long and it's weird."

"I do understand that baby." I say. "But I'm here to restore what they have broken of you and I want you to let me do that. Okay? You trust me right?"

"Yes" she answers. I wipe her tears away and pull her into me for a hug.

"I got you" I say. "And this might be too soon but I'm glad you ain't have that nigga baby" I say. I hear and feel her giggle on my chest.

"Me too" she says.

"Give me a kiss" I say. She kisses me and I kiss her back.

"I love you Meek"

"I love you too baby" I say.

Nicki

After letting Meek know what I had bottled up it felt good to let it out. It also made me realize I was so unhappy for a long time. I was with a person for over 5 years that I just lost myself . I gave him power and control over me and it makes me realize how bad I had it out for ending Blaze.