Long Lost Love (Robert Downey Jr. Fanfiction)

It's Buzz Not Bald

Finally, the Protectors of Earth tour is over. Brooky picked us up from the airport. I gave the crew and cast members a goodbye hug. But when I came to Hugh, he looked at me in the eyes and hugged me tightly. "I'll miss you." he whispered in my ear.

"Course you will." I said narcissistically.

"Can you say 'I will miss you too'?" He asked like his life depends on what i'm going to say.

"I'll miss you too." I said. Because he was doing that cute face again. We kissed on the lips before I went inside Brooky's car. Actually, it's a Knight Industries property car.

Eric sat on the front seat and I sat on the back seat. "To her house, Brooky." Eric said.

"I need a cheeseburger." I said.

"You have to rest, Stark." Eric said with that authoritative voice again.

"House later, cheeseburger now. So drive, Brooky."

Eric sighed in defeat and sat silently in the front seat. He can't do anything to stop me, i'm the boss. Brooky drove to Army Navy and Eric went inside to buy me cheeseburger. Brooky and I sat on the car waiting for Eric.

"So how's the tour?" Brooky said.

"Hmm? Good. I got homesick though."

"So you wanted me to drive immediately in a burger restaurant?"

"Yep. Can't wait for my bastard burgers. It's been 13 minutes" I complained.

"Relax. Just chill alright?" Brooky said.

Eric came back and handed me a bag full of cheeseburgers and a milkshake. I dig in. There's no place like home.

I texted the cunts that i'm home and they all said that they'll come to my house.

Brooky and Eric dropped me home and the cunts greeted me a smack on the face with a shaving cream. No place like home.

"Welcome home, mam." Jarvis said in my ear.

"Hello, Jarvis." I said.

We gathered on the kitchen because Troy cooked pastas. She's the only one in our group that's good at cooking (because she has a lot of expensive restaurants) Allison, Hitler and Archie knows a little bit about cooking while I don't know anything at all.

"Cunts, I have the most epic news." I announced.

They all looked at me immediately waiting for the news.

"Jackman and I had sex." I said.

They chanted. "Whoo! Whoo! Is it good?"

"Is it big?"

"How many times did you do it?"

"What positions did you do?"

They all asked at the same time. And I told the exact thing that happened. They all cheered.

Then we heard the doorbell ring.

"Jarvis, are we still on the ding-dong? God! I told you to inform me not a ding-dong." I ordered him.

Tony (my Husky puppy) went to answer the door. We all looked at the kitchen entrance to see who it is. We heard footsteps coming. I think it's only Eric.

Then, I was terribly horrified at what I saw. My life flashed before my eyes. It was one of the ugliest things i've ever seen in my life. I was thunderstruck.

Robert was BALD! I was horrified. The cunts greeted him a friendly hug and pat while I sat there at my stool looking at him with such horror in my face. It's like my eyes were about to pop out. I breathed heavily and nervously. I don't like to tease him anymore. Not with that hair. He's back with his tour too.

I still looked at him completely still and terrified. The cunts and Robert looked at me and I saw there expressions was puzzled because I didn't even hug, greet, kiss or tease him.

"What's wrong, buddy?" Troy asked me while smirking. She knows that I hate those kind of haircuts on men.

The cunts secretly smirked because they all knew that. We all knew each other so well. And they got the hint that I was going to undibs him as soon as possible. They look excited.

Robert walked up to me. I didn't even bother to look at him. I just sat there still with a horrified look. I just looked in straight direction.

"Hi." He chirped and gave me a hug. I didn't hug him back. And went outside the kitchen.

I sat there still looking horrified. Hitler snapped her fingers in front of my face.

"Hey. Hey snap out of it, buddy." She said and regained myself.

They all chuckled.

"Why is he bald?!" I said to all of them in a whisper and shout tone.

"He's not bald, man. It's a buzz cut!" Allison explained with laughing.

"It looks bald enough for me!" I said again in a verge of whispering and shouting tone.

"Just chill, buddy. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale." Archie said and I did follow her. I inhaled and exhaled.

"God! I despise it! Argh!" I growled.

"So you're gonna undibs him?" Troy asked and the three also looked at me waited for my answer excitedly.

"Ye-" I said confusingly and they all looked excited.

"N- uh, no-" I said again. I'm not sure if i'm going to undibs him. I might regret it. The cunts looks disappointed now.

"Ye- uhm, y-ye-" I don't know what to answer. The looks on their faces looks excited again.

"Ye- N-no. NO!" I shouted and they all complained.

"What?! Oh come on! He's bald, man!" Allison said. She's frustrated.

"No. I am not going to undibs him." I ordered.

"But you hate bald men, right?" Hitler asked. They're just trying to persuade me because they also like to pull their stunts on Robert.

"I might regret it if i'll undibs him. He's still mine." I said in a authoritative and serious voice but deep inside, I hate that haircut.

They all complained but got over it. Robert's still mine. I still have the power on him. The dibs.

They all completely got over the undibs thing. Robert's still not back. I wonder where he went?

"So you're going to ignore him until his hair will not grow back?" Archie said.

"I think so."

"Oh come on. Just undibs him and give him to me and when his hair will grew back to normal, i'll give him back to you." Archie requested.

"No. The answer is no. N-O." Archie looked hopeless now.

"Ignored by Stark, his owner. Poor lad." Troy said. I rolled my eyes.

Hitler completely got over the undibs thing because she was now eating her pasta not giving a shit about the pressure around her.

I will not give Robert to them. He's still mine. I can handle it. He's Iron Man and i'm obsessed with Iron Man. His hair will grow back to normal. His hair will grow back to normal. His hair will grow back to normal. I keep on pep talking myself. But buzz cut?! What the hell was he thinking?! He doesn't look appealing to me anymore! I don't want to pull my magics on him now! God!

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Don't blame me, guys. I love the buzz cut, it's adorable. But Hayley hates it. HAHAHA.

Please comment and vote! Thank you!