Can't Help Falling In Love

Kabanata 36

           

Kabanata 36

Bad Guy

Napipikit ako habang si Kevin ay patuloy sa paghaplos sa aking likod. He is making these circles at the bottom of my neck. The night is perfect. I couldn't imagine anything more perfect than the night we shared.

Madilim sa loob ng rest house. The only shade of light is from the fire in the fireplace. It was warm, and hypnotizing... Like it's telling me to rest and sleep. The movements of the flame soothes me, pakiramdam ko ay hinehele ng malamyos na paggalaw ng apoy ang isipan ko.

"Kate..."

Pumikit ako at niyakap si Kevin. I felt him put some more blanket on my back then continued caressing it. "Hmm?"

"If things don't settle well... Will you run away with me?"

Halos huminto ang tibok ng puso ko dahil doon. Bumangon ako at kinipkip ang kumot na nakapatong sa aming dalawa. Inayos ko ang aking upo at tumingin ng diretso sa mga mata ni Kevin. Walang takot niyang sinalubong ang aking mata dahilan kung bakit sumibol ang kaba sa aking dibdib.

He is dead serious about this...

"What are you saying? Nagbibiro ka ba?" I said then laughed nervously. Whatever it is he's thinking, I need to shut it down. I need to smother the fire because it burn us down.

"I'm serious, Kate... I don't care about the collateral damage." He said venomously, but gently run his hands on my arms. "All I care about is you. All that matters is you." I cannot believe I am hearing any of this. Gusto niyang takasan ang mga problema, gusto niyang iwasan ang responsibilidad, gusto niyang talikuran namin ang aming mga pamilya. Para saan? Temporary happiness? Independence? Instability?

I was idle for moment. I don't know what to say... I can say yes and destroy our families... Say no and destroy the man that I love. This will hurt a lot of people. "Kate, please... I've only ever pictured a life with you in it..."

Uminit ang sulok ng aking mata dahil nakikita ko kung gaano kagustong mangyari ito ni Kevin... He wants to elude all the possible difficulty our relationship might face... His child for one...

Hindi ko napigil ang mainit na luha sa paghaplos nito sa aking pisngi. Sa halip na punasan iyon, inabot ko ang mukha ni Kevin at ikinulong iyon sa mga palad ko. How I wish everything was this easy... "You're going to be a father soon, Kevin... You shouldn't turn your back on your problems just because you don't want to face it."

Hinawakan ni Kevin ang aking kamay saka idinikit ang kanyang noo sa akin. Nakapikit ang kanyang mata, sa sobrang lapit namin sa isa't isa ay kitang kita ko kung paano nagtubig ang pagitan ng kanyang mga pilikmata. Nanikip ang dibdib ko dahil doon.

He's crying... the man that I love is crying in front of me.

For a fleeting moment I wanted to say yes. Say yes and watch the horizon with the man who has my heart. In between those moments, nakita ko na umiiyak ang mga magulang ko... My friends angry because of our decision, Kevin's parents disappointed in their son.

Hindi ko kaya 'yon...

"You have an unborn child, Kev... The baby needs you."

Kevin laughed sarcastically. "Do you think I give a damn about the baby?" He said bitterly.

"Ikaw ang gusto kong maging nanay ng mga anak ko, Kate... Not some freaking one night stand..." He said, bitter. Another set of hot tears rolled on the side my cheeks. He doesn't see my point at all, does he?

He doesn't see that this kind of imprudence will spark an irreparable hostility in between our families... Despite of the long years between the relationships our family has, I know something like this will compromise everything. It will never be the same again. Nothing is the same after that.