Fan to Family.

You're the Judge.

~Liz~
Josh pulls me into a hug right away, filling my nose with him familiar scent and bringing a calm to me. He rubs my back a little, and then lets go. Tyler stands on my other side and they walk me out, our two friends in tow.

Once out in the halls, they find a bench and bring me over, sitting me down. Josh holds onto me, sitting beside me and letting me lean on him. His suit jacket is uncomfortable to lean on, but I do so anyway. Tyler asks us to excuse him and he walks away, his hands in his pockets. He looks like a lawyer or business man as he walks away, and I can't help but smiling a little.

Debby sits on my other side, smiling at me.

"You're doing so great," she says, rubbing my shoulder a little in encouragement. Josh just keeps rubbing and holding me close, trying to comfort me and ease all of my emotions.

Chase stands quietly, watching over us. He smile at me when I glance his way.

My face falls when I remember that my other important friends aren't here. Then again, I wouldn't want them to have to go through this with me. Especially if it starts going down hill.

"Where'd Tyler go?" I ask, still leaning on Josh.

"I think he's a little distraught over Jenna not being here," Debby says, looking down the hall.
Moments later, while my eyes are closed in an attempt to clear my head a bit, they tell me to look down the hall.

That's when I see Tyler walking back with someone beside him. After a moment, I realize that it's Jenna and stand up. I jog to her, hugging her tightly. She brushes my hair, smiling her bright smile at me.

"I would never miss something this important. I will always be here for you," she says, letting me go.

"Are we allowed to leave?" I ask, looking around at my little group, "since we have a few hours?"

Right then, our lawyer appears again.

"Actually, the judge has changed the recess, we are going back in now."

I follow him back into the intimidating courtroom, sitting in my chair once more.

Their lawyer goes up, calling up many witnesses and questioning them, taking turns with out lawyer. I tune most of it out, staring blankly.

It feels like an eternity that these people are being questioned, and the swirling feeling starts to increase.

The people's voices come through, bouncing around in my head, but no words are acknowledged. Their voices are all awful, fake or annoying, or even angry. One is even happy. I try to keep them out, but it doesn't work very well. After a while, I can hear some of the words, and none of them are good words. They are all words attacking me. I don't know what I ever did to deserve these words, but they come at me like throwing stars and knives. They pelt my ears, and fill my skull, swimming around in my head. Tyler's hand is on my knee again, and I can't tell weather he is trying to calm me or himself. I take deep breaths, but it feels like the words will never end. They are incessant and perseverant, only getting stronger and more hateful.

My head begins to spin, and I feel like I can't do it anymore. That is, until our lawyer questions the person currently on the stand.

Matthew.
"So, Mr. Edwards, is it true that Dylan is your daughter?" He asks.

"Yes, it is."

"So, why doesn't Dylan have your last name. Her name is Abigail Dylan, correct? Why isn't it Abigail Edwards?" He asks, pacing. The pacing somehow helps me calm myself a little, finding the pattern soothing and distracting.

"That is correct. Her mother and I went our separate ways when she was still very young, and her mother, being the music buff she is, changed her last name. She wanted her to have the same last name, so she changed it to Dylan," he explains.

"Mr. Edwards, is their a particular reason Dylan lives with her mother and not you?" He asks.

Matthew shrugs, "I'm unsure."

"Would it be because of domestic violence? Did you harm Dylan and her mother?" Our lawyer asks.

Matthew shakes his head, "No, I would never."

"Mr. Edwards, how is it possible that you are the agent dealing with this case when you have a very personal connection to it?" our lawyer asks, still pacing, but by now, it's sending me over the edge again.

The questions keep rolling, and I'm becoming stressed. How is he so calm? Doesn't Matthew know that this is wrong? That it's all wrong? That he shouldn't be able to be looking into his own daughter case, or that he shouldn't be able to manipulating it like this, or that he shouldn't be this calm? Or that it's wrong to try and make his daughter innocent when she hurt and abused me?

How?


I don't understand. This doesn't make sense. None of it makes sense. I don't understand how we even got this far, this should've been over when she got arrested. This never should have come this far. But it did, all because of Matthew and his need to be involved in his daughter's life, and apparently her relationships.

Everything starts to fade out again, until our lawyer calls up an surprise witness. It seems like nothing, and I tune it out, until I see who it is.

I don't connect the dots until they are sitting at the stand, looking like a dream. It doesn't seem real. I don't realize who it is as they walk up, I don't hear the name being called, but it's them all right.

I takes me a while I realize that it really is Lily sitting at the witness stand.

"Lily, you have something to show us, don't you?" Our lawyer asks.
Lily nods, "Yes, I do."

"What would that be?" he asks.

"I have evidence to contribute, sir. I have a vocal recording."

"May we hear it?"

Lily hands over her phone, and our lawyer plays the recording.


"I swear to god, if you do anything to get me put back in juvie, I will make you regret every aspect of your poof excuse for an existence. That is a promise," Dylan's voice says on the recording. Mine asks a question of what makes her think she can do anything to me and she responds with, "You've seen what I can do, and I'll do it again." And then it cuts off.

And the judge is about to make a decision based on just that, when the opposing lawyer stands up. Lily is sent back to her seat, and the other lawyer walks to the front. He faces all of us, and begins talking about his own evidence. He lists of many scientific sounding things, stating that they are medications. He continues droning on, trying to prove to us that Dylan is mentally unstable.

He states that she has been on medications of her mental health. Dylan is brought back up to the stand.

"Dylan, do you ever not take your medication for your mental health?" He asks.

"Sometimes my mother can't afford to refill it, or I run out before it is refilled so I go without sometimes," she says.

"What happens when you don't take it?" He asks.

"I turn into a very ugly version of me. I'm aggressive, but I can't control myself."

This continues for far too long, and next thing I know, the judge is making a ruling.

I blink, unable to process what he just said. I feel frozen, and empty, other then the swirling that is now in my throat.

Tyler's arm grips my shoulder, lifting me from my seat and leading me from the table. I see AJ, Kieran, Tom, Lily, and some other fairly important people in the rows further back. Tyler brings me to Josh and our group.

I stare blankly at them, feeling my eyes welling up.

Josh takes my other arm, his smile no longer on his face. He tries to smile at me, but it falters and his lips match his eyes. Debby, Jenna, and Chase don't say anything, and have unreadable expressions. Tyler and Josh walk me out, passed my friends, who just blur by, but in slow motion.

I stumble down the hallway and down the stairs, watching Dylan walk out in front of me.

Everything feels like it's in slow motion, with the sound turned too low. I still feel the swirling in my throat, like I could throw up at any minute. If it weren't for Tyler and Josh's grips on me, I'd feel like I was floating away, a lost balloon heading in the wrong direction.

The group doesn't say anything as we walk back to the car, or on the ride home.

When we get home, I stumble inside, shoving Josh and Tyler away from me. I go to my room and close the door, sitting on the floor in the middle of my room like a robot.

I'm not sure how much time passes before I get back up. I find myself in the bathroom, on the floor. By now, everything has started to seep in. The pain starts ripping at my chest, and tears start rolling down my face. It all comes crashing down, and I feel like I'm suffocating, and there is nothing I can do to catch my breath. It keeps running farther and father away, bringing my hope with it.

I don't know what to do, or how to make it stop. I don't want to be here anymore.

All I can see in the mirror is all of the marks ever left of my body, the bruises littering my skin and the cuts ripping up my face. I run my fingers over them, not feeling anything, but seeing a sight I'm far too well aware of for someone my age.

I feel the pain seeping in even more, filling my chest like a sponge. My tears soak my cheeks, and it feels like I can't get any sounds out. I want to scream, but nothing happens.

I want it to go away, and I want to go away.

The judge failed me. The system failed me. I failed me.

I close my eyes tightly, pushing my fists into them in an attempt to block everything else out. Purple and blue universes fill the blackness of my vision, and I feel like I could look at it forever.