Fan to Family.

Worn Out.

~Tyler~
We decided to go out to dinner with Tom and Lily. At dinner, we found out that the two are soon moving out to California, actually very close to us, for Tom to be closer to so person he had been talking about, and far away from Lily's birth and ex-foster parents. So, being me, I give Tom all of the information for Liz's school, even though at this rate I doubt we'll keep her in a real public school. We also found out that Lily's ex-foster parents were emotionally manipulative, unsupportive, and were found unfit to be foster parents any longer. According to Tom and Lily, they were very problematic, and at one point got into contact with Lily's extremely harmful biological parents.

"Wait..." Liz trails, "What about AJ?"

"Who?" I ask. Lily looks up from her French fries.

"My brother. My biological brother. We very close in age. We were put in the system together, and it was in our file to be kept together. Apparently our case manager found Tom unfit to be held responsible for the both of us, so he was put somewhere else. One of the reasons Tom is moving us to California, near you guys, is because we found out that the foster family AJ was put with lives somewhere around there and Tom wants to try and adopt him so we can be back together," Lily explains.

"You said you two hadn't been split up before, right?" Jordan asks. Lily nods. "Then how the hell did they get away with putting him in California? Isn't it like a huge and long process to transfer him from state to state and to split you two up?"

"Yeah, it is, I wasn't supposed to be split up from one of the boys I was in one of my first Foster homes with and there was a big uproar when they took him away. There must be something bigger going on with AJ," Liz explains, leaving me taken aback about the boy she was paired with.

Lily nods, "I found something else out, too. He's in California because that's where our only willing kin to take on kinship care."

Liz's jaw hangs open, telling me that that's big news.

"What am I missing about the importance of that?" Josh asks.

"I was put into the system because out of my few existing relative, all of them refused kinship care, which is when a relative takes over guardianship when your biological family is no longer fit to. So, it's a pretty big deal for someone, 7 years later, to be willing to take on kinship care," Lily explains.

The rest of dinner is a lot of small talk and joking around. I can see why Liz talked about Lily so often. They are a good pairing. It's soon getting late, and both groups need to be headed home for an early morning. Lily and Tom have school in the morning, and we have an engagement party at Jenna's tomorrow. We have to wake up early to get there and ready, and prepare Liz to meet the rest of our family and deal with our parents.

We say our goodbyes, or in Liz's case, our see ya soon's. Jordan makes a stupid joke, and then we are headed home. Jordan offered to drive, because the kid is wired from the coffee he just drank at dinner.

I turn to Liz in the car, "Why did I never know that you were paired with someone to not be split from when you were in the system?"

She shrugs, "I kind of forgot. I make it a point to avoid most of those memories and suppress them. You kind of made a point to not talk about that part of my life, which I'm thankful for, so it never really came up."

"What happened? Why'd you get split up? Who was he?" I ask, watching her closely. She traces over Josh's tattoo from behind him as the talks.

"His name isn't important. I'd like to keep that part to myself. I don't like sharing that part. But he was a boy who was put into the same foster home as I was when I was still a toddler, and he was a few years older. Apparently, when I was be upset, he was the only one who could calm me down, and we happened to have the same case manager. He put it in our files that we were to be split up, no matter what. So, for years, he and I would be moved around together. When things would get bad, we were together to help the other clean the blood off their shirt or run faster. For a while, they thought it was good for me to be with him, but before I came to my last home, when things got bad- when they knocked me uncuncious and broke his hand and nose, they didn't like it when he 'took me' away from my 'protective, caring' foster family. So, the decided we couldn't be a pair any longer. Once they realized that he was doing what he did for our safety, and saw what the jerks had been doing to us, I got moved to my last foster home, and they moved him to Oregon. Our case manager was under fire for a very long time for letting him be moved like that."

My heart pounds a little, watching her so intently tracing on Josh's upper arm now that he has shifted for her to be able to do it better. I don't talk to her about this part of her life for just this reason, the heartache I get from hearing about it.

After a moment Josh turns quickly, facing her. He gently brings his hand to her face, running his thumb over her cheek. "I could feel your finger trembling, are you okay?" He asks.

She nods, leaning into his hand. "Okay, just let us know if you aren't, alright? We are right here for you."

"I'm okay, I promise. It's all just a little.. daunting."

Josh nods, tucking hair behind her ear and then turning back around, leaving his arm outstretched backwards toward her so she can continue running her fingers over his tattoo.

After a bathroom break, Josh makes Liz scoot to the center seat and sits in the back with us. Liz ends up falling asleep on his right arm, mid trace. Her arms slowly make their way around him, not letting him move. He, being on the drivers side, taps Jordan on the shoulder and motions for him to turn the music off so it won't bother her.

He absentmindedly traces shapes on her back when she tenses a little, calming her back down. After a few more minutes, her head is resting on his thigh and her legs are strewn over mine. She is laying on her stomach, an arm dangling off the seat, and an arm gripping Josh. He continues drawing on her back softly, changing to more calming patterns when she seems upset.

I smile widely, watching my best friend take care of my baby sister as though she was his own. I couldn't have chosen a better person to join/aid me in this journey. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if he loves her more then I do, and then I tell myself that he just expresses his live in different ways and that it's all okay. I was afraid, going into it all, that he would like her at all, but it turns out that he loves her with all of his mushy little heart. Debby can't compete with her, and that part of why they hit a rough patch. She comes before everything, even his girlfriend. He made that clear.

I watch him tracing on her back and can't help but think of how it will be when Tom and Lily live nearby. Or how things will be when I get to know Dylan. Or how different your will be with her tagging along. Then, I imagine this image of Josh tracing her back but in a tour bus, or in a hotel in the middle of Europe.

Josh glances up at me, breaking into a smile when he sees my smile.

"You'd think this ball of energy would be able to keep up with us," he says, "but I think we wore her out."

I shrug, "Between her recent sleep patterns, putting her on rides she knows wear her out quickly, and the excitement with Tom and Lily, I think that might have worn away at her more then us."

Josh quickly chuckles, "and y'know, we are in extreme shape from touring and have much more energy because of everything we do on stage."

"And, Jordan is pretty good at getting her to run across amusement parks to get to rides he wants to ride with her," Jordan adds.

We soon arrive back at the Dun household, Josh insisting on carrying Liz in himself. He gets to the living room and then plops down on the couch. I plop down next to him, and next thing I know, we are both deep asleep.

~Liz~
"Where am I?" I ask no one but myself, not expecting to get an answer.

"The living room," a sleepy Tyler responds.

"How did I get here?" I ask, looking around. I don't even remember falling asleep. I just remember tracing Josh's tattoo in the car.

"I carried you," Josh says, from the doorway.

I nod, still confused. "What time is it?" I ask.

Josh checks the time and then looks back at me, leaning on the wall. "It's about 6:30. You woke up right on time."

"I've been here all night?" I ask. Josh nods. "You know how sometimes when you wake up you have no idea where you are or what year it is?"

Tyler and Josh both nod.

"Well apparently that just happened to me."

Tyler stands from beside me, patting my shoulder. "Well, now you have yourself together. Better get Joan's get ready to go to Jenna's."

I sigh, remembering about today.

"Woo, I get to go spend the whole day with a bunch of people that never wanted me," I say sarcastically.

Josh chuckles.

Before long, we are at Jenna's.

Jenna hugs me for a few moments.

"Hi Jenna."

"Hi Liz. Are you ready for all of this?"