This isn't what I want

chapter 8

** Reid's POV **

BANG

The lights go out. There's screaming. But I can't see a thing. I don't know what's going on. All I can see is the silhouette of two men as they force open the window and climb out carrying something. Not something. Someone.

That someone happens to be the love of my life.

"JJ!" I yell and for a moment, the two men freeze, but then they increase their pace and are outside, climbing into a dark van. At least I think it was a van.

There's yells outside the room and someone turns on the lights. Hotch is lying on his back, his eyes are shut tight and he is screaming in pain. Morgan is leaning out of the open window, trying to see something. Anything. Penelope is shaking as she holds her laptop tight in her hand, and tears are falling onto the floor. For a moment nobody speaks. We are all in shock. And then Dr Fairway talks from the doorway.

"Where is Jennifer?"

Still nobody says a word. We can't say anything. Hotch hasn't opened his eyes, he's still screaming out. Dr Fairway rushes over to him and moves his hands away from his ears. There's blood.

"Agent Hotchner? Aaron? Can you hear me?"

He doesn't seem to hear her, but he does stop screaming as she wipes his ear with a damp towel. He slowly opens his eyes and looks at the empty bed with the sheets crumpled.

"JJ?"

I can't take it anymore. I walk out of the room, next door, to see Emily. She looks like a ghost as the lies still in bed, the only noise coming from the machine that feeds her life. It's too much, and I break down crying in the chair beside her bed. I reach out for her hand. It's cold, as if there's no real Emily within.

"Emily? Please wake up. We need you. JJ's gone. You need to help us. Please, help me. I love her Emily, I can't live without her. Now Hotch is injured, something's wrong with his ears. Nobody's doing anything, because all we can think about is JJ. I need you to help me." I beg to her, but nothing happens.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and for a moment, I think it's Emily. It's Rossi.

"Come on, kiddo. She'll be ok."

"Emily?"

"Both of them. They're strong women, they'll make it."

"Rossi, I don't know how I'd cope if.. if something happened."

Rossi comforts me and takes me back to the other room. I hesitate before I walk in, but then bend down to pick up JJ's badge, which has been knocked off the side table on to the floor. She's so beautiful in her picture, with her bright blue eyes shining as the camera takes the shot. I trace her lips with my finger and look up. Hotch has been taken to be fixed up, and Garcia has a steaming mug of tea being pressed into her hand by Morgan.

"It's okay." Rossi whispers to me, and I nod.