This isn't what I want

chapter 32

** JJ's POV **

Why is she here? After we talked, I told her I didn't want her here. Not after what she did.

"Jennifer, sweetheart, open the door." She calls out as she knocks on the door.

"Go away. I told you I didn't want to see you." I yell in anger whilst sitting on Emily's bed, staring at the door.

"Honey, please, I said I was sorry."

"I can't believe what you did. What you said. You should be on my side, I'm your daughter. Not that monster." I cry. "You're sorry? That's all you can say?"

"Please, let's just talk about it."

"We are. And I told you, go away. Go back to your house and book your next appointment at the prison. I'm sure he'd love to see you again. The mother he didn't have. What a sob story. I couldn't care less if you visited him every day, you obviously care more about him."

"That's not true!" She cries through the door.

I don't want to hear any of it. "You haven't called me in years. And now, suddenly, here you are. You visited him whilst he was in prison six times in two months. After what he did? He doesn't deserve to exist."

"He needed to talk. He contacted me, he wanted to explain."

"Mom, he's a monster. He abused me for two whole years, or does that not count? Is it acceptable because I was his wife, his property. He could defile my body without my permission every night because I agreed to it."

"Honey." She begins, but I cut her off.

"No, go home. Go home, pack a bag, and go visit Will. I'm sure you'll tell him all about this. I don't care. As far as I'm concerned, you're both dead." I shout, and thrust open the door.

Picking up my keys, I stride out of the room and climb into my car. I don't ever want to see her or Will ever again.

** Ms. Jareau's POV **

My heart breaks as I watch her drive away. I can't stop the tears falling.

"I'm sorry." I cry as Dave passes me a tissue.

"I don't understand." Spencer says with a confused expression.

"When he went to prison, Will contacted me. He sent me a letter. He wanted a chance to explain, so I went to visit him. He told me about the abuse he suffered from his alcoholic father, and grew up without a mother. His father had driven her away. I talked to him, trying to understand. He was just doing what he'd been taught by his father."

Emily looks disgusted. Is she mad at Will, his father, or me?

"You let him into your life? The monster that attacked your daughter. You spoke to him before your very own daughter? She's the one you should be talking to. Listening to. She's carrying his child, for goodness sake. She's had several miscarriages in the past few years. She wakes up from recurring nightmares from what the man did to her. All she wants is her mother, and where are you? Talking to that bastard. The son of a bitch who broke her. She doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve that."

All I can do is cry, and I turn to leave.

"Ms Jareau?" Derek, I think, says.

"Yes?" As I turn to face him.

"I might not support what you did, and what he did, but you shouldn't let him break your relationship with your daughter. She'll come round when she's ready, and you have to be there for her. She needs you right now, more than she'll ever know. If you want to do what's best, you'll be there for her."

And he's right. I know he's right.