This isn't what I want

chapter 49

** Reid's POV **

"Pr-pregnant? Are you sure?"

"Blood tests show high levels of progesterone and oestrogen in the blood and also HCG hormone in the urine. She's pregnant, but not far along. In fact, we believe she's carrying a child from a sexual encounter about 6-8 days ago."

It hits me like a baseball bat repeatedly beating me. JJ's pregnant again, and it's not even mine. It's. ... it's his. That son of a bitch will constantly remind her of what he did. What he did to her. It's not fair.

** Hotch's POV **

"Reid, if you want to talk about it..."

"Why isn't it fair? Why is nothing ever fair? JJ's put up with two years of domestic abuse, seen more dead bodies than she has sunny days, and now she's pregnant with the baby of another abuser. She's been drugged with goodness knows what, and I can't tell her how I feel because she's being unresponsive. Hotch, what did she do to deserve all of this?"

"Reid, I wish I had an answer. I just don't know. Nobody deserves any of this suffering in the world, and yet it happens. The best we can do is protect the ones we can and care for the ones who are already suffering, or who have suffered. And right now, JJ needs you more than ever."

I know how much it hurts when someone you love is in so much pain. He can see it in my eyes and nods as he understands. It's a connection we will always share and be able to relate to, and I'm glad I have Reid to talk to. He may be a walking encyclopedia, but he's also human. He knows emotion, and isn't afraid to express his own.

** JJ's POV **

Something feels wrong. I slowly open my eyes and it's like I'm back there again. I can't see. The room even smells familiar. All I can think about is that man. I start to rock back and forth uncontrollably. I start to breath rapidly and the room goes in and out of focus. Something starts beeping loudly and I only rock more aggressively until I feel heavy hands pinning me down. I want to fight them off but I suddenly feel drained of energy.

I blink again and the lights are on. Dazzling bright. The face of an unfamiliar man comes into focus. But he's in a white coat with a badge. A doctor. That can only mean one thing. Hospital.