This isn't what I want

chapter 18

** Reid's POV **

I'm worried about JJ. She hasn't spoken much since she got discharged from hospital. I couldn't even ask her about how she felt losing her baby. She just won't talk to me.

I'm standing outside her door, about to knock, when Emily opens the door.

"Oh, hi Spencer. JJ's inside, should I get her?"

"Oh, yes thanks." I say and she disappears for a moment.

JJ comes to the door, and Emily goes to her car outside. I know she says she's fine, but she's not. Her hair is knotted and tied up, and her eyes are sunken and dark from lack of sleep. Her arms are crossed and she wears a frown.

"Spence? What is it?"

"I just wanted to see how you're doing. Are you okay?"

"Spence, you've come by every day for the past week. I'm fine, I'd tell you otherwise."

"Look, you've barely said a word to me. Are you sure?"

"Goodness will you just back off, okay? If there is anything I will tell you in my own time!" She yells and slams the door furiously as she goes back inside.

I stare at the shut door for a moment and turn away. I have to go to work, but I'm not going to stop until she tells me. She can't lie to a profiler.

** JJ's POV **

I need to take a shower. Now Emily's gone to work, I can finally relax for a bit. The water is warm and comforting as it runs over my body. The shampoo soaks through my scalp and I think back to before I met Will.

I used to have the girls round once a fortnight. Or we'd have a girls night out. I miss that. Since Will, I barely leave the house except for work. I make excuses regularly, and was actually starting to run out of ideas. How many times can you say you're baby is ill before they notice?

After I get out, I reach for my towel and look through the window. And my heart stops. I see him. He's right outside my door. He's got a bottle in his hand. He's got anger in his eyes. And I have fear in mine.

** Hotch's POV **

Paper work is dreadful. But Emily makes it bearable. Every now and again, she comes to give me a cup of coffee, done just the way I want. A teaspoon of sugar. Absolute heaven.

She gives me a cup and is just about to say something when her phone rings.

"This is Prentiss."

"Emily, please. He's here. Please help me."

I can hear it's JJ and she's crying. Emily freezes for a moment and then starts to panic, but I reach out and take her hand.

"Em, calm down. Look, I'll send Morgan and Rossi to her house. It's not far."

"No. No I have to go." Emily is crying so hard, but she fights me off.

"No, let go of me."

"Emily you can't, look at you."

"She's my best friend, Hotch! Don't tell me you don't know what this feels like. Not after Haley."

"Alright. I see I'm not going to win here. Let's go."