This isn't what I want

chapter 30

** Reid's POV **

I'm barely listening to the doctor. All I can think of is JJ. Alone in a hospital room.

"Doctor Reid?"

"Yes, sorry. How is she?"

"She is in critical condition. We performed cardiopulmonary resuscitation for five minutes, before she started breathing again. She is extremely sensitive to touch, and is currently heavily sedated and still undergoing surgery. We'll know more afterward."

"Will she be alright?"

"Physically, perhaps. Mentally, I'm not sure."

"Alright, thank you."

The team gathers around me in the waiting room, except for Hotch.

"How is she?" Garcia asks me.

"I don't know. She's sedated, but she's extremely sensitive. She's still in surgery and critical."

Garcia gives me a big hug and Rossi pats my shoulder.

"JJ's tough, she'll pull through."

"What about Emily?" I ask after a pause.

"They're keeping a close eye on her. I'm not sure."

Suddenly, Hotch rushes towards us.

"Emily's gone back into surgery. She has more internal bleeding. Dave, what am I going to do?" He looks distraught.

I don't think I can take much more of this. Both Emily and JJ barely clinging to life. I realise none of us have spoken about one person.

"And what about Will?"

"He's fine. Got a massive headache, but he's fine. He's in custody." Morgan tells us.

"Son of a bitch. Why isn't he on the operating table?" I say angrily.

The rest of the team stare at me as I continue to pace up and down the waiting room anxiously. I wish I'd told JJ how I feel as soon as I felt it, because there's a chance I might never get to tell her.

"Jennifer Jareau?" The doctor calls out and we all gather around to hear the news.

"She's out of surgery, she's going to be fine. There were a couple of complications, she couldn't feel her legs so we realigned the nerves at the pelvis, so she will need physiotherapy for a while. I understand she's pregnant. The baby is fine, but we need to keep a close eye on it, and possibly attach a feeding tube to make sure she's getting enough nutrients to develop."

"Can we see her?" I ask.

"When she wakes up, you can see her, but I'd advise you not to touch her."

Everyone looks slightly relieved, but we all want to hear about Emily, who is still in surgery.

** JJ's POV **

The lights in the room are so bright, but I force my eyes to open. I'm lying in hospital, that much I can make out, and there are people gathered around me.

"JJ?" I hear the soft voice of Spencer.

"Spence, hi." I say weakly. 

He tells me not to speak, and the rest of the team tell me about Will and Emily.

"Will's in custody, he's not going to see the light of day again, ever. Emily's still in surgery."

I nod and look over to Hotch, who is keeping his distance.

"She'll be alright, Aaron. You know she will."

Garcia is arranging a collection of figurines on the table that goes over the bed, all of them facing me.

"Here, these brighten up the room nicely."

"Thanks, Garcia, I seem to be spending all my time in hospital lately."

She gives a sad smile and Morgan puts his arm on her shoulder.

"Glad you're alright, Jaydge." He says with a smile.