This isn't what I want

chapter 61

** Hotch's POV **

"What do you mean, she's unresponsive?"

"We stopped the bleeding and closed up the gun shot wound. But she's not showing any signs of waking up."

I don't want to listen to the doctor. I just want Emily to wake up.

"What about Will?"

"I'm afraid he didn't make it to hospital. He bled out in the ambulance. He's in the morgue." The doctor replies gravely before going off to talk to someone else.

The whole team are gathered, waiting to hear about Emily. Reid isn't leaving JJ's side, and I don't blame him. Garcia is fussing over Anastasia and Juliette already. 

"Taisie and Jules, they're adorable!" She exclaims happily.

I'm glad that some good has come out of this, but I can't stop thinking about Emily. I want her to be here to see everything. I don't want her stuck in hospital, not waking up. I want her to watch JJ and Reid get married, and see Garcia buy presents every weekend for Anastasia and Juliette, and to have our own children.

Rossi comes over to talk to me, and I pour out all my feelings.

"Deep down, she knows you're fighting hard for her. And she'll fight too. You'll see." He says and I really want to believe him.

I wait for news all evening, and it isn't until around 10pm when the doctor approaches us again.

"Agent Hotchner?"

"Yes, what's going on?"

"Sir, Miss Prentiss is going to make a recovery. She is waking up soon. But you understand she'll need a lot of rest."

"Yes, of course. But she's going to be alright?"

"Yes and no."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, when she fell to the floor after being shot, she landed badly and dislocated her hip. We realigned it, but unfortunately there is the possibility she might not be able to walk."

"What, ever?" I ask in disbelief.

"We don't know. We'll only know when she wakes up. I'm afraid that's all that we know at the moment. But she is going to live, and you can visit her in a couple of days." He says before leaving.

I feel relieved and worried and happy and sad all at once. JJ seems to notice and understand because she gives me a small smile and then goes back to her conversation with Reid. I can see in her eyes that although she looks happy, I can tell she's hurting inside. That's something that will never be fixed. Something she'll have to live with. To deal with.