This isn't what I want

chapter 55

** Hotch's POV **

Emily comes rushing into the house as I finish pouring two glasses of wine.

"Aaron, you won't believe what just happened!" She shrieks in excitement.

"Emily, calm down. What is it?" I ask her, handing her a glass.

She takes a big sip and then continues at full speed.

"Spencer just proposed to JJ after they got back from her scan and she said yes and they found out JJ's having twins again, two girls, and they're currently thinking about names." She recites and takes another sip until she drains the glass.

"We need to congratulate them." She says and goes to pick up her bag.

"Hey, Emily, don't you think they might need a bit of privacy? I mean, they're probably busy discussing things right now. Let's wait until everybody knows." I suggest.

"You're right. Hey, maybe we should throw a surprise party for them."

She's still so excited, and I don't blame her. It's been ages since something so beautiful has happened. JJ deserves to have her happy ending after everything that's happened to her. It also gets me thinking about Emily. I love her so much, and I can tell she loves me too. But I want more from her. Not in a selfish way, but I'd love to have a family with her. To settle down as a couple. I've never tried discussing any of this with her, though, because I'm afraid she won't want the same things.

"Aaron, what is it?" She asks more seriously as she looks at me.

I forgot she's an excellent profiler. She always knows when something's bothering me.

"Emily, we need to talk." I begin.

"Hotch, if you're going to say we need to take a break or something..." 

"Oh no it's nothing like that, I promise. I just want to talk about us. There's something I want to say. Please, just let me say it."

I think I'm genuinely scaring her so I rest a hand on her arm.

"Emily, I love you. You know that. I love us, I love how we're together. But I want something more for our future. I want to start a family with you, to settle down together. You're already living here and I love that. But, when we're ready, I also want to, possibly, get married and have children. Is that what you want?" I ask her, nervous.

"Aaron, that's exactly what I want. You're the only one I've loved, and the only one I want to be with forever." She says, and she gives me a kiss to prove it.

My hand reaches out for hers, and I gently pull her towards the bedroom. I feel so much more relaxed and happy that I know what she wants. It's what I want.

** JJ's POV **

"What about Riley? Or Calleigh? Or anything?" I suggest as I flick through a book of baby names.

"They're beautiful names. But we're still stuck on middle names." Spence laughs as he picks up a packet of Cheetos.

"Here, how about food for thought." And he flicks one at me.

"Come on, Spence, this is serious. They need to be perfect. I named Aria because it meant melodic, and Aria would sing amongst the darkness to show us the light. She's our blackbird. And Henry is the ruler of the home, because I wanted him to have a position in our house, after Will decided he didn't want a child."

"Right." He says and cuddles up next to me on the sofa to look at the book.

"Cara means beloved, Carolina is a song of happiness. There's just so many names." I say as I randomly open pages.

"Carlota means free, and it's beautiful." He suggests.

We stay up almost all night flicking through the book, and I fall asleep on top of him, still on the sofa. I dream of our wedding, with all of our friends. And there's someone at the back of the church wearing a hood. That's odd, I think. Who turns up to a wedding in a sweatshirt? As I turn to look at him, he takes something out of his pocket, and there's screaming, and the whole place goes black.