This isn't what I want

chapter 23

** Hotch's POV **

"Emily, what's wrong?" I ask as she calls me.

"Aaron, there's something wrong. JJ's just started having episodes. She imagines Will is in the hospital and she tries to get to him. She got out of bed trying to see him outside her room."

"Emily, how is she?"

"I don't know. She's had two more episodes, and is currently heavily sedated. The doctors are concerned, they think she should see a psychiatrist when she wakes up."

"That's not a bad idea. I'll make some calls and arrange a meeting tomorrow. Keep me posted."

JJ's having episodes? That is not good at all. If she's having hallucinations and delusions, then there is something deeply rooted in her mind about Will.

Reid comes in to the room and looks concerned.

"Hotch? Who was on the phone?"

"Emily. JJ's having psychotic episodes."

Reid doesn't take it at all well. I can tell that something has clicked inside his mind and his eyes are devastated.

"Will she be alright?" He whispers.

"I don't know." Is all I can say. There's no point trying to lie, Reid knows better.

He clears his throat and goes back to the case.

"How are we going to track Will? He might not even be here."

"At the moment, we need to work out who his next target is. Someone on the website that all the other girls were using."

I get Garcia on the line, and Reid starts firing off questions.

"How many girls online within the geographical profile?"

"35. That's a lot."

"Okay, so all the other girls lost a sibling. An older sibling. Garcia how many have lost an older sibling within the past three years?"

"6."

"Alright. We're looking for a girl who goes to a good school, good grades, no record. Someone going to college next year. Either for sport, psychology, art?"

"Just the one hit. Wow, Spencer, you're good at this."

"Send us coordinates."

"Already done."

I look up and Reid has already left. 

"Reid."  I call out and race after him. 

I catch him as he's climbing into an SUV with Morgan.

"Reid, we need to wait for backup. He's a sadistic sex offender. We don't want things getting out of hand."

"Hotch, what are you talking about?" He asks angrily.

"I'm talking about you. You're angry at him for JJ. But that's not going to help us. We need you calm, focused, and thinking rationally. Can you do that?"

He pauses for a moment, and then nods. I know it's hard for him, because of his feelings, but I have to think of the team. We climb into the SUVs and head off. Reid holds his gun in his lap, looking out of the window. I want to say something. Talk about how I felt when Emily was attacked by Doyle. And Cyrus. But I know it isn't the same. It'll never be the same.

** Emily's POV **

JJ stirs and I move closer to her bed. Her eyes open slowly, and I see her bright blue eyes are now pale and tired.

"Jaydge? How are you?"

"Where's Will?" She whispers. I think she's still in her fantasy.

"He's not here right now. We're finding him for you, is that okay?"

"Please don't hurt him. I want him here. Please, find him for me."

"We're doing our best. We'll find him, I promise."

She smiles and closes her eyes once more. I feel terrible not telling her that the team are currently trying to track him down. I leave her room and go outside to get some air. It's mid-June, and the temperatures are already rising.

There's a rustling coming from behind, and I spin round, my hand holding my gun. I feel a hand on my shoulder. He's here, in front of me, wearing a grin. He's got a gun pointed at my chest.