This isn't what I want

chapter 10

** Morgan's POV **

I hold my breath as they push down on her chest. And then there it is. Her breath.

She takes a deep breath and starts to cough, the machine goes back to recording her heartbeat. I take a deep sigh of relief.

"Emily?" I ask as Dr Fairway comes towards me.

"She's going to be fine. There appears to be no permanent damage from the surgery, and she is waking up. Her organs are working perfectly, in fact, there's no damage at all. Her sudden wake-up is a miracle. Her body must have been using its energy to restore her organs, and now she is well."

"So, so, she's going to be fine?" I ask again.

"Yes, Agent Morgan. She's going to be fine. You can see her when she has rested."

I rush out delighted, and go to find Hotch. The team will be ecstatic, but I know Hotch will want to know. I know he's loved her ever since she joined the BAU. He's been to afraid to tell her. I think she feels the same. I've watched them together. He rarely smiles, but he always reserves one for her in the morning. It's rare, what they have. But it's also what they don't have. They don't have an open relationship, and it's time they have one, before it's over.

I walk to an empty room, where Hotch is being fitted a hearing aid. I look confused. He explains to me.

"When, um, when JJ was taken, Will released some kind of canister which exploded, causing the loud bang, and blocking our view as he turned the lights off. I was closest, and it caused a bleed in my right ear. I'll be fine, but my hearing in that ear will take time to heal. What's up?"

"Emily. It's Emily. She's woken up. Hotch, you have to tell her how you feel. Otherwise there may never be a later, when you can tell her. You have to take these opportunities."

** Hotch's POV **

I know he's right. I have to tell her. I remember how I felt when Emily was on the operating table, after being attacked by Doyle. I couldn't take it.

** FLASHBACK 2011 **

** General POV **

Emily was being revived in the ambulance, and her eyes fluttered open. But her pulse was extremely weak and there was the possibility that she wouldn't make it to the hospital. Luckily, they managed to get her into an operating theatre quickly, and were trying to keep her alive. She had lost a lot of blood, and her stomach was bleeding inside her.

The team waited outside nervously, Hotch was pacing up and down, unable to wait any longer, he was about to burst into the OR. Suddenly, JJ came out, her eyes red and sligthly puffy. She fell into Hotch's arms.

"She.. she didn't make it off the table." 

That was when Hotch's entire world crumbled and he too cried. They could not accept Emily had been taken from them by Ian Doyle, and Hotch made a promise to himself and to Emily that he would not love anyone else as he had loved her.

** NOW **

** Emily's POV **

Slowly, the view of the hospital becomes clear. I see Hotch sitting beside my bed, and I smile.

"Hey, how are you?"

"Good. Thanks. Emily there's something I need to tell you. You might not like it, but I have to tell you."

"Aaron, what is it?" I ask, holding his hand.

"I love you Emily. I have loved you forever, and never stoppped loving you. When Doyle 'killed' you, I made a promise that I would only ever love you, and it's true. Nobody has ever made me feel like you did, and I just wanted you to know that. We've lost so much that I didn't want you to go not knowing. Or me. I wanted you to know."

"Aaron, please listen to me." He  cries hard and I smile at him. "Aaron, I've loved you always as well. From the first meeting in your office. I haven't stopped loving you even though I thought I could. After Doyle, I didn't want anyone to get hurt, so I kept my feelings inside. In case we became too attached. But I realise now what little time we could have. Aaron, will you go out with me?"

"Yes." He sobs as he kisses me and hugs me.

My stomach is painful but I ignore it and return the kiss passionately. Finally, I have the love of my life.

"Wait, what about JJ?"