This isn't what I want

chapter 38

** Emily's POV **

When I wake up, the whole team come into focus. JJ's practically sobbing, Hotch looks so sad, Garcia is beaming, Reid doesn't know what to think, Rossi's smiling and Morgan's pacing the room.

"Hey, Derek, I'm awake now. You can stop doing everyone's head in." I mutter with a faint smile.

JJ can't take it anymore, she rushes over to give me a hug and I gently move my arm to stroke her hair.

"Hey, I'm alright. Didn't you know, Hospital is like my home away from home." I say, and she smiles weakly.

"We've all been so worried. How are you feeling?"

"Absolutely ravenous. When can I eat?"

Right on cue, the doctor comes in to check on my 'vitals' and then says I can eat.

"Take it easy, though, a bullet requires recovery."

"Don't worry, Doctor, I've got half a dozen people on my case." I laugh as I look at the team gathering around.

The doctor seems satisfied and leaves. Everyone looks so pleased to see me awake. I worry that they thought I wouldn't make it. 

"Guys," I say nervously, "I'm fine. You don't have to worry, I promise."

They understand, and JJ kisses my hand softly. 

"We'll go find you something to eat, Em." And she leaves with the rest of the team, leaving me and Aaron alone.

"Emily..." He starts, but I know what he's going to say.

"No. Don't apologise. You can't change things. And there was nothing you could do. You did your best, and I did mine. It's fine. I love you." I interrupt him.

He smiles, even though his eyes are watering. I reach up and wipe away his tears, and he leans forward. When our lips connect, I feel a warmth spread from my face throughout my body. Nobody else has ever made me feel like this, and I love it. I love him.

** Reid's POV **

At the cafeteria, JJ stands alone, choosing what to eat. We've barely spoken, and I don't know how to talk to her.

"JJ, how are you?" I ask her as I approach her.

"Oh, good thanks. What do you think Emily wants to eat?" She asks me.

One of the reasons I love her so much is because she never thinks of herself. She always thinks of others, and doesn't notice when people are trying to talk to her, and not about others.

"I'm not sure. Listen, please can we talk? There's something I really want to tell you."

"Sure what is it?" She asks patiently.

"Jennifer Jareau, I love you. I love everything about you, and I always have. I've never really known how to say any of this, but I realise that there's never going to be a perfect moment. So I just want to ask you one thing. Will you go out with me?" I say quickly, blushing bright red.

JJ looks slightly taken aback, but then she leans in and plants a kiss on my lips.

"Of course. I love you, Spencer Reid. Very much." She smiles, and takes my hand.