This isn't what I want

chapter 50

** JJ's POV **

I'm curled up in a tight ball in the corner. The doctor's checking something on a piece of paper. He comes closer. He wants to touch me.

"Get away!" I yell as he reaches a hand out.

Scared, he moves back slightly. I don't relax until I'm sure he can't touch me from where he stands. Instead, he tries to talk to me.

"Spencer can't wait to see you." He says.

That name means something to me. But I don't know what. It's driving me mad.

"Spencer?" I whisper, confused.

"Doctor Spencer Reid?"

"I... I don't know a Spencer Reid. I can't remember. I'm not sure. Doctor, why am I here?" I ask him.

"You really have no idea?" The doctor asks me.

I can see in his eyes that he's sad and worried about me. It scares me slightly.

"What is it?" I whisper in a worried tone.

"Ma'am, I can't be sure what went on, but you're pregnant. And only about two weeks at the moment."

"Two weeks... so whose baby is it?" I'm nervous to find out.

"Ma'an, I'm afraid we don't know." He answers.

The words sink in and I suddenly have a flashback.

** sometime during JJ's abduction **

He has me pinned to the floor. The floor is cold against me bare skin. He's removed my top and shorts so I'm now in my bra only. His fingers glide gently over healing scars, and make their way to my hips. The smell of smoke fills me nostrils as he presses his lips against mine. His fingers playing with my breasts. I want him to stop but I can barely speak. He's doing it. I can't tell him how much it hurts. But he ignores me every time I wince its pain. He enjoys this. He kisses my bare chest. My stomach. He feels every part of me. He wants this. I don't. He brushes his fingers through my knotted hair pulling it out the way of my face. He ties it into a tight ponytail and strokes stray strands out of my eyes. He kisses me again, his saliva all over my skin. And then he goes for it again. I don't have any energy to protest, so I close my eyes. The last thing I saw was his smile. His evil smile.

** NOW **

Oh my goodness. I know who the father is. It's Peter's baby. I'm carrying the child of a rapist.

My last thoughts before I throw up all over the bed.