Hard Time (Hard Time Series Book 1)

Becoming Lena

LENA POV

Waking up my head was pounding to say the least and throbbing almost like I had my own personal band going on in my brain. Holy shit I had no recollection of half of what happened last night and the last thing I remembered was grinding my body against Stef's while we sipped on alcohol and shared countless cigarettes and cigars. Maybe it was the pot brownies that did me in along with the shit Roxy had made. Whatever it was I was hungover like nothing else.

Nonetheless it was worth it to say the least for it had been my babies birthday and I wanted to throw her one hell of a fucking party one she would always remember. I think I had been successful for I had never seen Stef laugh and smile so much but she needed it. She really did for she had been so cranky, and stressed the last few days especially since Mike told her he didn't know if he could make it to family day again and it had been weeks and months since she had last seen her kids. That had really upset her to no end and her anger had been off the charts for we were planning on having a little cake for Frankie's birthday.But last night she let it go even if it was just for a few hours as she danced the night away along with all our girls and even members of the Latina Queens and Wanda. That was one thing Roxy  told me was that parties sometimes broke down the divisions we put up between rival groups as it allowed us to just feel free even if it was for a few hours.

Never had I even allowed myself to be that free and I had never gotten high in my life. But I surely had been as I remember feeling Stef's hands all over my body as we all danced. She had pulled me in so fucking close to her I thought we would fuck right there as my middle grinded on her leg and she held her hands right on my waist traveling to my ass. Looking deep into  her eyes as mine were closing periodically more and more  my body felt light, free and happy as she passed her cigarette to me and Sean Paul played in the background. A few months ago I remember asking Wanda how it was these women did things in front of other people. How? But I knew the answer now you didn't care because privacy no longer existed and life functioned differently. It just did and I understood it along with many other things now that I never imagined I would. Before I blacked out Callie had put on, We Are Family, and it could never be more true. We were family, this was my family and it was like a family I never knew was missing. Maybe it sounded insane but you would need to experience it to really understand. We weren't just criminals or murders as society labeled us. We were way more then that. We were survivors, we were mothers, daughters, friends and most importantly we were humans not just inmates. Many of us did the things we did to protect ourselves, or our children or our family or siblings or spouse. Many of us were a product of our upbringing and even if mine was vastly different it wasn't much for I still had to fight in the end. Fight for myself, and for my son.

Yes our Den had a reputation like the other groups in this prison but they had allowed me to become the person I was, Stef allowed me to be who I was and it was something I could never explain. I could never explain her to anyone what she really meant to me, what she really had done for me and how I really felt for her.I really couldn't as I thought back to my last phone call with my mother who had screamed at me and it was the first of many times I screamed back in a way I never thought I would.

FLASHBACK

"Lena I need to know what is happening in there! She said you are her wife! Her wife! That horrible woman?" I heard my mother yell on the other end of the phone. "Please tell me that is not true. Just please sweet lord tell me it's not."

Remaining silent  I looked to Stef as she was talking on the other phone and winked at me. Smiling I winked back.

"Mom listen I love....

"Love? I am not hearing this. I am not! You know she threatened me. Do you know that!"

"What did you say to her?" I asked growing defensive.