Hard Time (Hard Time Series Book 1)

No Time Like The Present

LENA POV

The last few days had been rather intense and Roxy had really fell off the wagon along with Raquel. Truth was it was unfortunate what we had to do as Stef ordered Tracey to make a decision about Raquel and it was a test of the girls leadership skills. Authorizing her choice the den beat Raquel severely as my wife gave her the final blow to her ribs and stomach. She could have done worse, I'd seen her do worse as the girls left her in the hall bleeding nearly to death. Was it easy? No, not at all but it was a long overdo consequence she had to face for her actions. Actions that could have been prevented if her mother possibly had been there for her. But she had not been and still wasn't. 

Stef felt terrible about it, she really did and I saw the struggle on her face that night for she herself felt disloyal about Raquel. She really did and even cried in my arms for it really tore her up. Tore her insides up as she rested her head in my lap and I gently ran my fingers through her soft blonde hair.

"I didn't wanna baby. I'm not a fucking monster. I'm just not."

"I know sweetheart. I know you aren't. You had to do what you had to do. She killed our girls, she threatened you, and she was going to hurt you. I believe that. I know she lost her way but we had to be careful. We did babylove."

"I want you to know I wouldn't do that to our children, no matter what. I wouldn't baby. Please know that." She said lifting her head up as tears ran down her face. "I will always treat you and our babies like gold, always. Please don't....

"Hey, hey, sweetheart I know that." I said cupping both her cheeks for she really was heartbroken and torn up inside." You don't have to promise me that. You don't need to because I know that, I do. I know what kind of person you are deep inside, I know who my wife is but I also know how it is in here.  Raquel was lost, is lost and like I said we both know she was not to be trusted and I saw the look in her eyes.  Plus baby we have a reputation you know it and the den has to keep that reputation."

"I just wish she had listened to us. I wish we could have brought her to the den baby."

"Baby, I know but she made a choice and CHeryl knew she was easy and not well. Raquel was long gone baby. She just was and is."

"Fuck." She said getting up. "I can save most girls in here but not my own niece? Why?"

"Honey, even if she wasn't your niece this would have happened. Family is not always a guarantee and you know we have built our own family in here. Look at Callie and Tracey.  You would never know that they didn't come from you based on how much they love you and trust you. Even Angela and Nikki. All these girls that you did save. It is not possible to save everyone baby it just isn't and you can't do that to yourself.  Raquel needed more help than anyone could give her and she became dangerous, and manipulative in her own way and she had to face the consequence. Maybe on the outside we would have ignored her, or threw her in rehab but she showed us who she was by killing our girls and siding with Cheryl, and Alex knowing what they did to you. 

"I know baby. I know."

"Listen Mama Tiger." I said getting up and holding her hands as she looked to me with a heavy heart. "No one in here has a heart like you. No one and you do the best you can and I am always on your side. Always in here and when we get out and make our life together. When we get out and this place is a distant memory, a bad dream, and something we don't ever have to deal with again. The choices we make in here are based on survival baby like you told me and they are not always easy choices. Now, it will be ok my love it will."

Smiling softly at me I leaned in and kissed her lips gently.

"What the fuck would I do without you baby. I just don't know." She said as I let out a smile.