Hard Time (Hard Time Series Book 1)

Family Day (Part 1)

LENA POV

"So um, Stef seems like a nice girl." My father said to me as we sat outside on the grass  playing ball with Noah. Sitting between my legs he rolled the ball back and forth to my father as I took in the smell of his curly hair. God did I miss him and I couldn't believe how big he had gotten at two years old. His little smile, his little face, everything I had missed as he looked up to me from time to time just as happy as could be knowing fully who I was. That alone did it for me as did the sound of his voice. Maybe just maybe I wouldn't miss everything and I was hoping we would get out of here before he was old enough to realize where I was and why.

"She is dad.  She really is." Glancing to my father while Noah rolled the ball back to him I could see the concern on his face. I got it and I knew what he was thinking and how he was feeling. Yes, I had changed, yes I knew he didn't understand my relationship with Stef but deep inside I was still the Lena he knew just tougher and one who took no shit from anyone anymore. "Daddy I know what you are thinking and I know it's hard for you to understand."

"Nah. You just, you look different honey. I mean I know you have to be a certain way in order to survive in here I understand that. Me and your mother just weren't, well, we didn't expect the change. They way you spoke to your mother I know she aggravated you honey but it was unexpected."

"I'm still me daddy. I really am but you can't just well, keep your head down in here like mom wanted me too. I can't. It's not what you think, and Stef is not what she thinks. Listen I know it's easy to judge her and I know it's hard to understand but we love each other. We really do and I know it seems like I have changed in a bad way but I haven't."

"I'm trying, well your mother and I are trying to understand that. But honey you have to understand where we are coming from. I'm sure Stef has her nice sides but marriage? What happens when you get out?"

"We will be a married couple when we get out and are going to try to raise our kids together. Dad we are very committed to each other and will do whatever we can to make it work. Stef is trying for her appeal and so is Callie."

"Callie?" He asked confused.

"Yes. She's a young 17 year old that just had a baby herself and  Stef and I are doing whatever we can so her baby can remain with her in here and when we get out."

"Oh honey. Lena, you know I love you. I do honey but you have gotten far to involved. You have your own dreams and things and need to focus on your own appeal and what you will do when it does work out."

"Dad, Stef is my wife.  She is. And we decided that whoever gets out first will try their best to set things up. If I get out first I will try my hardest to get a job, save up and find us a place. I know it will be hard but I will do whatever I need to for Noah and her. She would do the same for me."

"Honey, do you know how difficult that is going to be? Do you know how limited your job prospects will be and not to mention where you will live. You have a record honey and if you marry Stef it's going to make life even harder for the both of you. I am not trying to rain on your parade. I am not honey but you have to be prepared that your life will be drastically different and far more complicated. It's easier in here. It's easier for you and Stef to have a relationship in here with this type of structure and system you have. And your kids? Sweetheart you have to think of your kids as well."

"Dad that's all we think about. People make it work even people with records and there is no reason why we won't be able to or can't. Yes we know it's going to be hard but we are doing everything we can in here to prepare for it. We are using all the resources this prison has and I just need to know you will be on my side daddy. I don't expect mom to anymore I don't but I hope you will be."

"Lena honey I'm trying. I get you both are in love but it's easy for that to happen in here. Really easy."

"So you are saying I love Stef out of convenience?"

"No. No I'm not saying that at all. I'm sure you do love her. And..

"I do daddy. I love her more then anyone will ever understand. She has protected me from day one, has taken care of me has shown me love and affection and understanding and I have done the same for her. We have a family in here that we love and protect daily. "

"That's in here Lena. What if you get out and she has another 10 years in her."

"Then I will wait for her. I will get our things started and I will wait. I will never, ever give up on her."

"Lena honey you have given up on yourself. And your son." My father said as I was growing angry. Far more angry then I ever had at him.

"Dad, I know you and mom worked harder than anything during my trial. I know you did and you have no idea how much I appreciate that. I messed up, I messed up my life by being a weak person. By letting some man do that to me on a daily basis and I will never, ever do that in life again. But I am not messing up my life daddy. This is not me messing up my life because this is my life now. I'm in jail. Yes for self defense but I'm here and doing my time and I happened to fall in love while I was trying to keep my head down.  But the truth was I was tired of hiding, I was tired of keeping my head down and running from myself and people. Stef, she allowed me to be the person I wanted that needed to break free. And maybe it's hard for you to understand, but I love Noah he is my babyboy and I am working hard to get out, we are working hard so Stef can get out and Callie because they are my family too daddy. They are and they will forever be apart of me. Please try to understand that Daddy.  And yes I feel terrible, I have so much guilt about you and mom having to bag groceries to cover my legal bills and I plan on paying you back. I do and I promise. But this is me daddy. I'm not tame Lena anymore who takes crap from people. That's just not me."

As Noah giggled and rolled the ball back to my father I could see the pain on my father's face. I could and I felt like a horrible daughter and had since my ex started to beat me. But I couldn't and would not apologize for the person I had become. I wouldn't and yes I knew my life with Stef would not be easy if we got out for that was the reality of it. We were criminals with records, stripped of our parental rights and pretty much of everything else but it didn't mean that we couldn't be a family, that we couldn't' get married and try to make it right. Stef more than anything wanted to turn her life around as I glanced to her at the benches with her two kids. Frankie was extremely adorable and looked so much like her mother in more than one way. To say she was sweet was an understatement as she sat on top of the bench rubbing noses with my wife as she had her young arms around her neck. Stef's smile was everything  right now and I could feel my own tears forming as Jude sat beside her resting his head on her arm. Today she was not the leader of the Lions Den. Today she was the mother of her children. Children that I could see were missing her more then anything as I gently kissed the top of Noah's head and holding him close. With her eyes soon catching mine as Frankie kissed her cheek a million times Stef winked at me as I smiled wide at her mouthing I love you. She said the same back to me as I planned on introducing myself to her kids soon. However, right now we both needed the time with them for these visits were rare. They just were no matter how hard that was to accept.

"Well Lena I will try to understand and you know I will always love you no matter what and I will always stand by you.  I just hope you know what you are doing that's all and if you say Stef is the woman for you then I believe you. Now how about we try that potato sack race?" Smiling at me I rested my hand on top of his.

"Ok daddy. And thank you and I promise I will try my hardest. I will."

"You are welcome and I know you will. I know babygirl."

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Lena's dad is so worried.